Make you mine

Chapter 9 (Reflecting)

I was practicing basketball when Mark and Kai walked in.

"what up old man"-Kai

The two joined me and we practiced together.

"You're getting to your old shape back, any reasons?"-Mark

"I'm going to London"

"well I'll be damned"-Kai

I dropped the ball and took a quick break

"why?"-Mark

"It's about my family's business, I made a deal but I didn't know I'll be sent to London"

"London's a big place, what are the odds you'll run into her"-Kai

"you never know, when will you leave?"-Mark

"In 4 days"

"someone's excited"-Kai

"shut up"

I went straight home and shaved my beard and got a haircut. What the hell happened Lucius, this is how handsome you are. Why did I turn into an old man. After fixing myself, I bought new clothes and tried a different style. I looked myself in the mirror and all I could see is my handsome face, kidding. I was feeling my old self again, but is it because i'm hoping that I'll see her again? I texted Karina to meet up with her. I told her to meet me at the bowling alley. I could already see her but she's looking around for me. I tapped her back and when she turned around, she almost fell.

"woah, you ok?"

"Top?"-Karina said in awe

I looked at her and she was shocked by my appearance.

"are you hungry? wanna grab lunch?"

She wasn't responding

"Karina, I know that I'm handsome you don't need to make it obvious."

She laughed and said

"you look good, Top."-Karina

"thanks karina, do you want to play or eat first?"

"Let's play first"-Karina

We played bowling and then we ate. While we were eating she asked me,

"what pushed you to do that?"-Karina

"do what?"

"like, go back to your old self but better"-Karina

"nothing serious, I'm leaving in 4 days"

"oh, where to?"-Karina

"London"

Karina stopped and stared at me

"I know what you're thinking, and it's not about that. It's because of my family's business."

as we continued eating, I could see that she was saddened by what I had said. She was hiding in but I could feel it. I dropped her off at her house and I went to Kai's house cause Mark said they'll be drinking at his place.

"woahhh, top is that you"-Kai

"C'mon man, I really liked the beard"-Mark

"You look good Top"-Kai

"thanks man"

"something's telling me that something happened"-Mark

"it's karina"

"oooh"-Kai

"We were hanging out and we were having fun until I told her I was going to London. She was hiding it but I could tell that she was sad"

"I don't think she's sad cause you'll be away"-Kai

"then what?"

"maybe for some reason, she hoped that you were becoming a better version of yourself not only because you wanted to but because of her."-Kai

"she did asked me what pushed me to be better than before"

"The gal hoped for something man. She must've always felt something for you that she didn't feel with Hyunjin."-Kai

"I'd advise you to talk to her about this. Not for her to confess but for you to clear things with her. Don't make her hope for something we all know you can't give her"-Mark

I reflected for a while and realized that if I talked to Karina about this, it might cause me to lose my friend.

"Then I'll lose her"

"it is what it is, Top. We can't keep everyone in our life. All you need to do is reflect and choose. Do you seriously think it's still worth a shot for Yeji? or stay with someone who has been by your side."-Kai

I didn't answer Kai and I went home to take some rest. As I closed my eyes, I thought of what Kai said. In my head, I tried imagining what it would be like if I were to choose Karina. It felt safe. Then I imagined what could happen if I chose that one shot of meeting Yeji again, with no assurance of anything. I could feel regret if I didn't choose that one shot of meeting Yeji. With no assurance of anything in return, I would still choose her. Always. I opened my eyes because I can't bear the thought of losing my friend Karina. But I could never convince myself that my life would be better off without Yeji. As long as it's her, it'll always be worth it. It always has been.
No matter what I choose, i'll have to end up losing one.