Songs To Sing- John Frusciante

7

April 7, 1991

Pencey

As my eyes squinted open, I watched John finish packing my bag, eyes coming to me. "Good, you're alive. You haven't moved in, like, 8 hours."

"Really?"

"I would have thought you died if I didn't hear you snoring in your sleep next to me. Completely fucked up my high."

I pushed myself up, feeling the soreness heat up in my left arm. "I dunno, I had a great high."

"Of course you did. You didn't have to listen to your snoring."

"Someone's chipper this morning."

"Just happy you're alive." He came to lay next to me in the bed, head pushing into the crook of my neck. He sprinkled soft kisses along my collarbone. "Can't have you dying on me already."

"No promises, Frusciante. I like to live on the edge, you know."

He was silent for a moment before speaking up. "What do you think happens when we die?"

"Sorry?"

"I mean-" he shook his head, sinking lower on my chest. "I was just thinking about it last night, right after I used. I have weird thoughts when I'm on that high."

"I like to believe there's reincarnation or something afterward, but I don't know. It seems implausible."

John nodded. "That's what I think, too."

"I just want to be cremated. No one needs to look at my sad sack of a body in a wooden box. And I'll take up less space. Leave room for further generations, blah blah."

He watched me through hooded eyes. "I never thought about it like that."

"What, the fact that soon we'll have more dead people on earth than living?" He hummed. "The time is coming, Fru. It's a matter of time."

John scoffed. "Fru?"

"No one's ever called you that?"

"I don't think so." At that moment, the phone rang, jolting the two of us upright. As his hand reached for the phone, the other fell under my chin, kissing me softly. His finger crept up to my mouth, holding it over my lips as he answered. "Hello?"

The person on the other line spoke so loud that John jumped, holding the receiver away. I kissed the tip of his finger when the phone returned to his ear. "Dude, relax. I got a room early-"

"Anthony?" I whispered. He nodded.

"I, um..." John's eyes flickered to me, his hand covering the receiver. "Where do I say you've been?"

"You're not saying that I was with you?"

"No, I'm not telling him we fucked and got high last night, Spencer. So, where have you been?"

"Just checked out of my room, came to see you," I blurted out. It sounded suspicious either way, but it was at least a little better.

"She, um, she checked out of her room early and came to see me. Are you guys leaving now?"

I could hear Anthony through the phone, so I pressed my face up close near the phone, able to just barely hear him. "Are you guys fucking or something? You guys are breathing down each other's necks already!"

"Here, let me-" I grabbed the phone out of John's hand, playfully sitting down in his lap. "Hi, Anthony."

"How did you know it was me?"

"You're fucking loud, man." John's calloused hands came around my waist, drawing circles to make me squirm. "What's up?" I pulled the phone away hastily. "Quit it, John."

"No."

"Nothing, making sure he's awake. Why didn't you guys wait for us last night?"

I lied without skipping a beat, something I was unnaturally good at. "I was really tired and I have a stomachache, I just wanted to go back, so he came with me. They wouldn't give us the room that we already reserved, so we had to get our own."

"You got one room? I thought John said-"

"That's what I meant. Each got our own room. Sorry."

"Mmm," he hummed. I could hear someone, presumably Perry by the sounds of it, snickering in the background. "Well, uh, we're meeting in the lobby in 20." The receiver went dead, making me drop the phone in my lap.

"What?" John mumbled into my neck, making me shift.

"We have to be- John..."

"Am I bothering you, babe?"

"C-c'mon, we've gotta, John, we have to go down."

"Fuck them."

I started laughing, head falling back as he squeezed around my middle. "C'mon, c'mon, please, come on." I wound up sprawled out on the bed, John attempting to smother me. "You're sickeningly affectionate."

"I know."

***

Tap, tap, tap.

Can't a girl get 5 minutes to herself?

I huffed and stood up from the bed, resting my book on the nightstand. The door opened easily, revealing Dave, a small smile strewn on his face. "Hi, Pence."

I was certain that everyone was pre-gaming in Anthony and Flea's, but apparently not him. "Hi. You alright?" I had been partying less and less over the UK tour, and this was supposed to be our first day in Europe, playing in the Netherlands. Perry, however, was sick in his hotel room, so the rest of the group decided to go out drinking (John and I were actually able to drink here).

But recently, I had gotten into the habit of just indulging lightly. I liked being sober around John. I would only get high with him, and I wouldn't drink as much as I usually would when he was around. 

"Mhm. Just making sure you were alright."

"Yeah, I'm okay. Tired."

"John was asking where you were."

I scoffed, flipping the page. "Is he already wasted?" I looked up, Dave's face breaking into a grin.

"Maybe." We both snorted with laughter, Dave falling onto the bed next to me. "I'm glad you're getting along with him."

"Yeah." My brain began racing with thoughts. Does he know? Well, really, what even is there to know?

"You've been, uh, friendly. With him. Volunteering to share a room."

I knit my brow. Fuck. "What do you mean?"

"You like him!" Dave shoved me lightly on the shoulder, smiling with satisfaction. He began laughing when he saw the color drain out of my face.

"Shut up, David. I don't-"

"You've slept with him. I know you've slept with him." He eyes me suspiciously as my face stayed still like a stone. "Pencey!"

My expression hardened, rounding on him. "Don't you tell a soul. Not even Perry. Not Anthony. Not John. Not a soul, Navarro. You hear?" I held up a finger, making him snicker.

"No promises, McAdams."