numero uno

rick's identity crisis

when cheap trick became cheap trick, rick decided to experiment more with his outfits n shit because he was having an identity crisis pretty much. he didn't know who he wanted to be onstage. sure, he knew he wanted to be a lunatic, but to what extent, and how was he going to do it? then he had an idea.

rick went shopping one day and bought 20 different ugly sweaters. somehow, they spoke to him, and he knew he needed to wear them. he also bought a red cardigan. basic, yeah, but to him it represented him somehow. it was ugly (just like him...JOKING). well, at least rick thought it was ugly. it was just plain maroon. disgusting. rick bought it because of that and he thought he was ugly especially because he had the world's worst haircut and it was so bad he was balding prematurely.

thankfully, one day, a fan decided to be a good samaritan and tossed him a baseball cap during a concert in 1976, unable to deal with rick's ugly ass haircut, thinking the baseball cap would be a good favor for him and everyone in the audience. rick looked at the baseball cap. when he looked at it, he realized that this was what he needed. it represented him, he felt. besides, it would disguise the fact he had a nonexistent hairline. rick saw himself as a cartoon character, something like huntz hall from the bowery boys (except that shit was live-action). huntz wore a baseball cap, so rick picked up the baseball cap and placed it on his head AND EVERYONE CHEERED!!! it was at that moment that rick realized he had finally discovered his true self. his identity. this was who he was meant to be. he looked absolutely fucking ridiculous in a plain cardigan and baseball cap and He Loved It. he felt like god reincarnated. after that concert, he decided to stick to the baseball cap and cardigan thing. he also got some checkerboard pants because he was unhealthily obsessed with anything checkerboard. he officially looked like a fucking idiot. it was perfect. the rick nielsen look was complete.

now, whenever people would see rick onstage, they would always be like "bro what the fuck is That thing" or "woah he's so crazyyy i love it" and they would write about him in magazine articles and all that shit. around this time rick was also starting to build his guitar collection oh shit i forgot to make a chapter about that well the next chapter will go more in depth about it!!! anyways, rick's identity crisis was over. he would come home to karen, dressed stupid still, and would sleep in a fucking baseball cap. one day karen decided to bring it up to rick.

"why do you sleep with a baseball cap on? doesn't that cause hair loss?" she asked.

"i've barely got any hair left."

silence.

then karen finally responded.

"oh."

karen literally knew what rick looked like without a baseball cap. guess she didn't remember. perhaps she'd grown so accustomed to seeing him with one on that she'd forgotten the guy's balding prematurely.

anyways time for yhe chapter i fprgot 2 write about rick's guitar collection! that is super important and is essential to any rick nielsen biography. take notes guys.