Paid & Laid ✔

𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝙰𝚁𝙶𝚄𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃.

Still Saturday -- 6:29 PM

Beomgyu's P.O.V

Ryujin left a few minutes ago.

And I know she left frustrated with my lack of kindness or immense arrogance.

However, I'm not sure if I'm relieved that she's gone or if I'm exasperated at her unfazed expression whenever we're together. It's unsettling how she appears to have no reaction to me like I'm used to, but when it comes to me, I can't stop, it's like a drug.

A wonderful drug.

I can't help but touch my lips when she leaves, or have my face flush when she eyes me with such intensity. I hate blushing especially since she's the first in at least years to make me feel such yearning. It scares me and I feel I can't back out now, it won't work out and she'll probably sue me for using her.

Time passes and it's now been thirty minutes since she left, I'm not sure why I can't bring myself to say it's been thirty minutes since I sat on this couch getting lost on my thoughts. It's always Ryujin clouding my mind nowadays.

I hate that though, and instead I'd rather get wasted, drinking my thoughts away.

'Maybe I should' I consider.

Than a knock reminds me who I invited.

Opening the door, Taehyun flashes me a small smile that contrasts to Kai's bright grin. I smile back and invite them in, they were the only ones who replied to my text, I'm sure Yeonjun and Soobin are busy. And they always reply so I don't think much about it.

"So what's up?" Kai queried while he nearly jumps on the couch, making himself comfortable. "Nothing, I just wanted to hang out" I answer, evidently lying through my gritted teeth that make me realize how set my jaw is.

I attempt to relax the tension in my muscles but I only manage to unclench my jaw, my fists are still clamped together. "Bullshit! You wouldn't be so tense if nothing was wrong" Taehyun laughs out as he looks at me as if he can see through me.

Which he practically can, all of them know me like I'm a naked, blank, broken painting that they've been staring at since forever.

And although I hate how much they know, I also know confiding in them helps me a lot.

"Well...I suddenly feel uncomfortable with the fact that Ryujin's become a very frequent thought in my mind and I don't like it."

Taehyun nods and Kai isn't surprised, but some part of me thinks they barely heard a thing I said. "That can't be the only reason you invited us" Kai says before a sly smile curls up his lip.

"Gyu missed us!!!" Kai hollers whilst he jumps on top of me, strangling me with a bear hug that Taehyun soon joins. They caress me and give me pecks on the cheek as revenge of what I often do to them.

"Of course he did, we're the funnest pair of maknaes ever."

These goofballs knew just the way to cheer me up, we ended up raiding my large kitchen pantry and fridge while jamming out to loud music that played from the built in speakers.

I love them more than myself.

***

They're gone now.

And I'm not okay so suddenly.

I feel weird like I just emerged from an underwater tank. My mouth has a weird taste and my body abruptly craves alcohol.