Paid & Laid ✔

𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐

Author's P.O.V

Ryujin had never seen him this unhinged.

It scared her.

The way he shook, the way his lip quivered so very vaguely, and the way he violently ripped away his arm out of her grip. 

Her.

Ryujin had a hunch, a feeling that something made Beomgyu act the way he does, and she thought, but never was certain, now she is. However, the look on Beomgyu's face shows that this is the least thing he wants to go through and Ryujin's right. 

Beomgyu's feeling a thousand different emotions at the same time, his heart echos in his ears, searing and possibly doing the opposite of its function. Keeping him alive. Because he feels like he's drowning, no one had ever rolled up his sleeves like that, look him in the eyes and tell him that he's being abused. It's a truth that Beomgyu had barely been able to come to terms with ever since it first happened.

When he was 16.

Legs quick, you'd think that this was deja vu. Beomgyu ran from Ryujin as if she was the abuser, he didn't care about the way people made way for him or how they whispered, trying to confirm if that is the son of the famous actors Mrs. and Mr. Choi.

It surely was him, and he was peeling, peeling in front of the only one who can make Beomgyu feel as though he isn't the centre of the universe. He actually thinks of her, he may think of her in a way Ryujin wouldn't prefer, but he thinks of her and it was beating on him, sucking the world from him.

Hands clammy, tensed, clenched and unclenched, it made him wheeze and heave for a breath even though he was breathing the soggy air of light rain.

Then suddenly light rain.

Then heavy rain.

Quick and simple, the rain's harsher, angrier, sadder, and it intensifies Beomgyu.

He forgets where he is for a moment and almost walks right into Ryujin as she puts herself between him and tree that could've been hit by an unfocused Beomgyu. 

Shaking all over, tremors all over, it was a break down that Ryujin had never seen.

While it was a common feeling for Beomgyu.

Dying, feeling like he's being tortured by his own heart.

Ryujin had broken down like that once but it was only once and never many, she was silent, she had always been.

And it reflected her time alone.

Crying alone.

Ryujin's hands find themselves on his neck, the rain sloshing through the ground as Beomgyu finally stays in one place, wild eyes on her. Hands wavering by the hostile, violent way that it's moving. "Beomgyu...Beomgyu" His name repeated from her wet lips, rain falling in, out, around of her mouth as Ryujin does her best to comfort someone that isn't herself. It's new for her and she's scared, terrified, and she wonders if this is how she looks when she breaks.

Tightly, so tightly, the two hold each other like they've never before. In fact they've never hugged like this, they never felt the depression that feared off from them, ever. The passion, the emotions, the feelings of bodies touching ignites in them, and yet it's different because somehow it seems real.

Fueled by actual need and not lustful desire.

"Ryu-Ryujin...when did you find out?" Cold, oh so cold and wet and scary. 

Tears stopped but not forgotten, the two sit down against the tree and somehow it feels like I've told the story of another couple sitting  by a tree, confessing feelings.