Anonymous

•Chapter 4• Us

3.25.15
Us.
Everly & John.
He's mine.
My God.
***
So there's this boy. And he told me, "Everly you're my first true love". And I died a little. Because his love kills me. But it's the best possible kind of love. And he has it for me. And oh god, it's like a waterfall that comes crashing down, surrounding me. Soaking me to the bone with his love. It's so warm and inviting. It's like a coma of love, and I never want to wake up. I want every piece of me to crash into him, I swear to god that's how they make stars.
***
"I love you..."
he whispered,
His breath tickling my ear and cheek
And oh,
My love,
You make my heart sore like eagles wings,
And burst with joy and hope
And oh,
My love,
I know that you care,
That you try, and you love
And oh.
My love,
"I love you..."
I said.
***
When we first met. It was in the 6th grade in Science-Tech. At first I thought to myself about how I thought you were really quite cute. Then, as the year went on, I started liking you more and more because of your personality. In 8th grade is when we started our serious relationship. I knew I was in love when you told me "And i'll be here for you until im not on this earth anymore, got it?" It meant so much to me because 8th grade was a really rough time for me, and when you told me that, it was like all the little holes in my heart were patched up just from that one sentence. Before we became close and started talking, and even once we started dating I had really high standards for what beauty looked like, and I just didn't meet those standards. But over time, and what I'm sure was a lot of effort for you, you taught me that everything I hated were the things that made me, me. That I'm fine the way I am and I shouldn't try to change that. You told me "If you want to find yourself beautiful, you have to change your definition of beauty." That changed my view point on a lot of things.
***
School's started again. Today was alright. I almost freaked in reading again. I really need to move to the back, or figure something out because I can't deal with sitting in the front row. I always feel like everyone is whispering and judging me behind my back. I get so anxious and have almost had a panic attack two days in a row in that class. They're becoming more frequent, and getting in the way of my class work. I hate it so much. But I really can't help it. In first period today Mr. Copper asked me how I was doing, I accidentally paused instead of answering right away. Big mistake. He commented on how I've been a lot quieter since school started back up... What was I supposed to say? So I just shrugged and put a small fake grin on. He said it was probably just because of break, so I nodded my head and walked away to run passes to other teachers that the attendance office had given to me. Science-Tech was fine because I got to work with Amanda and Harper. I wish it was like 6th grade again though, it would be nice to have John in at least one class. It was really cute though, because when the boys went outside for Physical Ed I went to shut the door to the classroom and John was right there and he pressed himself up against the glass panel on the door when I shut it and put his hands up as if saying that he wanted to be with me but I shut him out. But the only
Thing I don't like about being around John, is that I blush like crazy. Oh my goodness. I could fill up every notebook on the planet gushing about him and still have more to say. He's just so amazing. Gosh. Honestly, he can just touch me or look at me and I feel so loved. All my worries and problems vanish. I need him. So much. He means the world to me, and practically is my world. I love it when we stand chest to chest so I have to look up into his eyes. And when he hugs me from behind, oh my goodness. And his hands. They're perfect, they're strong and firm and when he puts his hands on me, I just kind of go wild inside. He just makes me feel so calm and easy. He's incredible. I have no way to describe how much he means to me. But one thing's for sure. His arms, when they're around me, nothing can hurt me. I can't ever lose him. I'm really not quite sure what I would do. He gives me so much hope and strength. He fills me up with good feelings am ales me feel wanted.
***
"And if you fall in love with her, please be tender
for she is scarred, a little damaged and broken,
Punished for not learning to love in half measures,
she has cried enough years to fill an ocean."
- Love Her With Devotion or Not At All
Nikita Gill
***
"We are born in one day. We die in one day. We can change in one day. And we can fall in love in one day. Anything can happen in just one day."
- if i stay
***
Right?