There wasn't a happy end

Chapter 3: A sad night

The Goddess stayed silent as did everyone else. Mihae's mind was a thunderous sea with thoughts, memories and worries all crashing into each other. She couldn't tell them what happened, there was no way she would be able to form such terrible phrases.

"You guys should get back down," she whispered, feeling Hak's hands around her.

"Alright," began Soli, "but I want you to remember whatever happened we are here to share the burden with you." Her voice was as sweet as back at "Hanamichi". Mihae leaving Hak's arms looked at her and could not help but notice how much Solli cared. She understood as she did back then that sometimes knowledge hurts and it is easier not to know but that did not mean that she couldn't empathise. Understanding this Mihae started to see things differently.

Mihae looked at the Goddess and in her eyes she found the truth, whatever choice she made it would be the right one. On one hand, Mihae could choose to keep this a secret but she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to carry all that burden alone. On the other, they had a right to know, yes they would grief but at least she would be honest with them.

Mihae took a deep breath and got up looking straight at all of them.

"I learned what my dreams are. They are fragments of my life. And just yesterday I saw all of it. It is not a happy story but you are also there with me just like now. So it is your choice, if you want to know who you are, ask her and she will show you."

The Goddess came closer yet her presence became lighter. "It is as unusual for me as it is for you but the choice is yours. Remember though that there is a reason why you do not have your memories, it is both a curse and a blessing."

"Yet what gives you the right to punish us for something we do not even remember?" Peter asked. He had the same question as everyone. What had he done to deserve this middle ground. He was neither alive nor dead; he was in the between, like a soul left wandering.

"I find this as unfair as you do. I have known all of you and kept safe your memories that were buried in your hearts. I understand your pain and suffering that is why I showed Mihae. I do not know why she came to see her memories while she was asleep but I know that this is not an accident. The choise is yours but to answer your question Peter the reason of this middle ground as you say is none other than the aftermath of your last action."

"So we are obliged to pay for an action we do not even remember doing. How are we to learn then?" Soli added.

"Moreover, oblivion only gives birth to questions," Hak spoke.

"I understand but as Mihae said, you did not live a happy life."

"Is it not our right to judge that?" Ed asked

"To you it may be insignificant but to us is the answer to our questions," Jeho concluded.

The Goddess stayed silent weighting their determination. And then she finally asked them if they really wanted to know their past. Mihae listened in horror as everyone agreed. She got up knowing that there was no coming back now and stood beside the Goddess.

"It is not your burden to bear little one, you did the right thing." These words were meant to comfort but they did not. Slowly she watched as every one of her friends gained their memories back.

Soli was the first one to react. Her eyes were searching for Mihae and when they met, pain gushed through them. How could she have done that? She was her little girl. She had vowed to make her happy but in the end she hurt her more than ever. She was so focused on making her a profitable Geisha than supporting her choice. Her eyes then shifted to Makoto, now Hak. Oh how cruel life was! He must have hated her yet as Grim Reapers they were there for eachother, they were friends but now everything would change. She held her chest trying to subsidize the pain as tears fell down her face.

Jeho was next, looking down at his hands as if still grasping the sword. He had killed him, the last thought of that night was here to haunt him again. How could he not recognise him? There was a time in which he knew every detail of his body and yet now they were just friends, nothing more and nothing less. He didn't know what was more painful loving him and betraying him or forgetting him and loving him anew. He shifted his gaze to him and found him watching him.

Ed only managed to look at Jeho for a few seconds and then fell on his knees running his hands on his golden hair crying. He was the reason for everything and Jeho was right as he always was. He had destroyed them, how could he continue existing now with all this burden on his shoulders. Oh damn him, he died because he could not deal with the consequences, the guilt and now he had to live with them. There was no getting out. What was he to do? Then in the midst of tears, he felt Jeho hugging him. His touch, his feel, oh how much had he missed him. Was it possible now? Would Jeho forgive him now? He looked at him with remorse and pain only to find the same words written into Jehos's eyes. They hugged each other tightly. It might be, they were together now.

Peter or actually Daiksuke was next, taking a step back as if he was struck. All the exhaustion hit him anew. How could he forget his dear friends? He looked around and saw Soli standing there alone and he instantly knew she was blaming herself. So without thinking he went to her wanting to comfort her telling her that everything will be okay even if he was not entirely sure about the latter. He felt that by helping her stand on her feet he might repay for the catastrophic news he had brought her. He felt her warm tears through his shirt. At least now they were all together. At least now they could deal with it as a team, by sharing the burden to make it less heavy. Yes, that was the solution, staying together.

On the other hand Hak felt as if his chest was being pulled apart. Why every time he was happy, every time he had found her, loved her, something snatched her away. Mihae was the same gentle soul, had loved him just like before, had risked everything for him again and now she was crying for him. He was tired of seeing her like this, it was clearly a love meant to hurt. He had thought that seeing her dead on the cold earth was the worst feeling but he was wrong. The feeling he felt now, the excruciating pain that filled him whole was far worse than he could ever imagine. It was the feeling of knowing that you can never make the person you love happy. That no matter how much he loved her she would always suffer. He will part in less than a year, leaving her counting the decades for her parting all alone. It was not too late to forget him, he hoped. If he left now it would hurt but at least in the long run she would get over him. She was strong as she had proved many times over.

It was easier that they were not close, for if he felt her warmth, her scent he would never be able to leave her. He looked at her and she somehow understood. She called out his name and felt himself break into thousands of little pieces but he didn't stop; he ran down the stairs and into the dark night leaving everyone he loved behind.