TIME AFTER TIME

novem.

NINE: 

"Shades of Reds And Hues of Orange"

BREE.

I finally worked up the strength to visit Aurora's parents. I told myself that because it was the end of the human year, I would visit and offer my condolences. Even if my condolences were long overdue and in the shape of gingerbread cookies. 

When I reach the yellow house at the end of the block my feet stop moving. I don't think, they do. My hand braces myself on the iron fence, keeping me upright instead of the tiny ball I want to curl into. Calliope's words about grief are somewhere between a mock and a comfort ring through my head. She told me about how the body remembers. Maybe my body remembered walking up this driveway, smelling these dead flowers, and seeing the chipped yellow paint and decided it was too much. It was starting to feel like too much. 

I'm doing this for Fang, I remind myself. She'd want me to make sure they're okay.

I think of Aurora's laugh, her contagious smile and it energizes me to straighten up, compose myself and go to the front door. I knock three times before I take a deep breath.

Inside her parents seem distracted. I can feel their anxiety crawling up the walls and buzzing around them like flies. I so badly want to ease their worries, but instead I focus on giving sympathetic smiles as I offer the cookies. Imogen is making tea while I help Walter organize what flyers they've printed out. Seeing Aurora's picture makes my chest feel tight and when I excuse myself to go to the bathroom I'm reminding myself why I'm here. So I wipe my tears, force a smile and remind myself not to stare at the pictures on the wall. Some were moved, but Aurora's eyes still find mine. 

When I apologize for not making my way to them sooner, or helping with the search party they claim they understand. Too busy swimming in denial and residual feelings, they hardly notice the way I speak of her in past tense. At the foundation of their being is hope. I refused to squash that with the truth, so I smile, and drink tea. I stay for another hour then I head back home.

My head is too heavy to be alone, so I go to the Oasis where I search for Isaac, hoping he'd be in need of a walk in the same way that I was. I had seen him two nights ago, after we followed his contact's information to a dead end. The waterfall was not where they had promised, bringing us nowhere closer to finding a way to Spartacus. We spent the remainder of the evening walking and talking strategy.

The two of us spent a lot of time walking around Oasis. It was what I spent a majority of my free time doing when I wasn't baking or studying spells. Isaac never made me feel ashamed of my Resurrection. And he never felt like I was weak, which a majority of the island felt. Either that or fearful of me. But he was never scared of me. That was part of the reason why it was so easy to be around him.

When I get to Legacy Light I search the library where he typically has his hands on a book, but I only find a few students studying over a cauldron. On my way out, his assistant, Stem was entering the hall. When I asked where Isaac was, he told me he went home early, but he would let him know I was looking for him. I could make the walk to his apartment from Legacy blindfolded (I'd done it once, after he urged I take a walk in his shoes). The sun was setting, casting a ray of orange across the sky.

The walk isn't far from the school but I find myself thinking of Fang's parent's hopeful eyes. The orange in the sky reminded me of a similar tangerine that clouded their home. My throat feels tighter when I knock and enter his home, in desperate need to think or feel anything other than the suffocating amount of dread. The hope that they would find her. When I knew...