A Miracle I Want No More

Burnout

The night was a disaster. All because of her. Mirabel sat on the bed in her room, the nursery. Tears blurred her eyes as she furiously rubbed them, setting her green-rimmed glasses aside.

"I have an amazing family.. and that amazing, miracle of a family.. is stuck with useless ol' me", she mirthlessly chuckled, it sounded far from her usual bubbly laugh.

"Everyone came into the picture... la familia Madrigal." she said what she had heard them say. "Why wasn't I included?...Am I not a part of it? Am... I really.. not a part of the familia Madrigal?"

"I can't take another night on the sidelines, where do I even belong? I guess I am too late for a miracle.", she smiled bitterly as she stood up.

"Today was very hard for you..."

"God Mami, you said I'd feel better tomorrow... Why did you lie to me?", she hiccupped as sobs wracked her form.

"Stay away from Luisa...."

"Stay away from Luisa...huh? Do you, do you really think that-that I'll take her gift, Abuela? why, why do you hate me?", Mirabel said to herself.

"We can't have anymore problems"

"Am I a problem...?"

"I hate you!"

"I guess… I really am. Even my own sister hates me."

"What did you do!?"

"I was, I was trying to save the miracle but.. maybe my gift is to make everything worse" she said, tears streaming down her face.

"Everything was perfect!"

"I know Isa, and I'm so sorry"

"You ruined my life!"

"I know Isa…I ruin everything."

"You always mess things up"

"I really do, don't I? from not getting a gift….. to all the way to causing Casita to crack."

"Bruno left because of you!"

"I caused Tío Bruno to leave…" she breathed in realization.

"Luisa's losing her powers, Isabela's feelings were hurt, because of you!"

"It all was my fault...Luisa..Isa… I'm so sorry."

"....Hurting this family…"

Those words felt like a slap to her face. Hurting.. her family? God she could never even think of that. But Abuela was right…She was always right. Besides…that is what she had been doing right? hurting the Madrigal family, by being born without a gift, by ruining everything by trying to help. By being the only abnormality in their family, in their miracle.

"What if the reason the miracle is dying... is me." she barely whispered,"What if.. that's what Tío Bruno's vision meant. What if…I'm breaking this family, could I be…the reason Casita is breaking? The reason Luisa is losing her strength? The reason why our miracle- no- my family's miracle is dying?"

Her breath hitched as it sunk in. Could she even fix this? Could she still make this family proud…

"Make this family proud.", she giggled hysterically in tears,"How? By-by causing the miracle to die? By creating cracks in Casita?"

Then suddenly a thought hit her. "If- If I'm the reason the miracle is dying… then maybe I shouldn't be here." 

If she's what was causing the miracle to fail, maybe everything will go back to normal if she wasn't there any more. The more she thought about it, the more she became sure of her decision.