(Next day fuck)
Funky kong was up bright and early for no reason, he yawned only to remember he had a dream of everyone laughing at him about a massive fart.
He also looked down to see Daisy snoring, and on his chest. At this moment and time, he just hoped for Diddy and Mario not to come up the stairs. (Downstairs) Diddy and Mario were done with the five nights at baldi's hunting since 1am, all they saw was just an ad for the 2v2s. Diddy had a broom stick in his hand while Mario's hat was a little jankish while sitting on his head. "Welp, the 2v2's are starting in an hour, we gota wake up Mr. I have a crush on females but fell off, and Daisy" Diddy said sighing at the fact they didn't find any cool SCP's "You know what, you're a-right, lets go get them up before the Mario Kart wii 2v2's start" Mario said, jumping off the sofa in the DK house, and walking up the stairs to hear nothing coming from Funky Kongs room. "HEY RETARD YOU BETTER NOT BE SLEEPIN ALRIGHT" When he walked inside Funky's room, it smelled like dogshit, no other. He sat on the bed and looked around, only to see Funky laying there with his hand in Daisy's hair. "JUST AS I THOUGHT, you cheeky cheeky son of a bitch" Diddy squinted his eyes and looking sternly at funky kong. Daisy gasped and giggled shyly. Mario deadpanned," You both know the 2v2's are in an hour" "IN AN HOUR?" Funky and Daisy looked at eachother with the WTF face. "LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SEE, I SWEAR WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT TRYING TO GET ALL FOUR OF US to sleep before that" Diddy didn't expect Funky and Daisy to makeout again either. Funky and Daisy looked up at eachother, both puzzles as hell, knowing why the fuck the 2v2's are this early. "Fuck!" Daisy started worrying as she jumped out of funky's bed and rushed out the door downstairs. "A AOOOOWWW" Diddy complained about his foot hurting from Daisy stepping on it while she ran out the DK house. Daisy had to hurry back to her "castle" to get her biking gear, she had no time possible either. "YOU DICKHEAD" Funky scratched his head, "DON'T YOU TWO RETARDS HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?" Diddy and Mario laughed at Funky getting pissed. Lets just ff to the race alrea- (At the DK summit 2v2 Mogi lounge bullshi-) Shyguy: WELCOME ALL, WELCOME, WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL MARIOKART WII 2V2 EXTRAVAGANZA TOURNAMENT. The whole audience clapped and cheered for the grand announcement. Shyguy: LETS GET FUCKING STARTEEEEEEE- 3...2...1... "Lets just hope that they don't make out this time" Diddy laughed silently at mario from across the race track. Mario giggled as everyone stared at them, especially funky kong. Shyguy: Ahem, Diddy Kong and Mario, could you please be quiet for a minute, Thank you. Diddy and mario just stared with no comment. "Well fucking hell I want to get this over with already" Mario had enough of the shy guys already and the race didn't even start yet. Diddy: I hate it when they do that. ShyGuy: Diddy and Mario apparently haven't even started their engines yet and everyone else is already in the canon about to race down the snowy mountain everyone! What a bunch of dickheads!! haha! Diddy Threw a barrel from his pocket at the shyguy, knocking him off the stand where he was commentating the race. Diddy drove into the canon while Mario lagged behind him. As Diddy and Mario blasted down the mountain, no other racer was in sight, they were at the halfpipe section. "We shouldn't have did that at the starting line, huh Mario?" Diddy scratched his red nintendo cap while not doing any tricks on the snow humps. "Come on Diddy, Funky Kong, AND Daisy? TOGETHER? Bogus" Mario banged the steering wheel of his kart while looking over the fence to see the rest of the racers far ahead of him at the halfpipes having fun. "It's really odd" Diddy scratched his head, "At least we're catching up" Meanwhile far up ahead... "YEAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAEEE!!!" Funky Kong screamed as the crowd cheered in the background as he landed a sideways stunt from a halfpipe. "Jesus Christ, DK you might have some competition, look up ahead" Dry Bowser pointed up ahead to Funky Kong as he landed from the halfpipe. DK tried to catch up, but it was really hard because Funky was just too fast. "I threw 6 damn shells at him and all of 'em look like they connected." "I heard that!" Funky Launched a green shell backward, it bounced up the snow mound and back down again to sideline DK's bike making him spin out. Toadette rammed into 2 walls while trying to figure out how to operate her little kart properly. "OUCHH! What was that for??" Toadette screamed as Luigi stopped to repeatedly ram Toadette's kart with the star item to make her lose even more time. Baby Peach jumped onto the back of Yoshi's standard bike and covered his eyes so he couldn't see. "HEYY!! STOP THAT AAAAHAHAHHH!! I CAN'T SEE SHIT IN FRONT OF MEEEE!!!" Yoshi slipped on a banana causing his bike to spin out before accelerating back to full speed to the canon. Baby Peach Giggled as she farted causing Yoshi to gag and crash into the wall. Luigi watched Yoshi crash from a far and offered to hit him with a shell to point his bike in the right direction to the canon. Daisy and Funky Kong were both already at the snow mounds after the first halfpipe section, with Funky in 1st and Daisy in 2nd, meaning their team is in top 2. Mario and Diddy just finished the half-pipe section and had to deal with Toadette before entering the canon after everyone else. "Hey, do you both like my kart? It's pink just like me!!" Toadette jumped out of her kart multiple times in happiness. Mario and Diddy both looked at each other and laughed really hard. "WHAT DA HELL TYPE OF KART IS THAT???" "DID YOU USE CLAY TO BUILD THAT??? HAHAHAHAHA!!" Mario smacked his steering wheel with laughter, and Diddy slapped his knee and gave Mario a high five while Toadette was crying in the background. "Mario, we need to find a way to ruin Funky Kong and Daisy's lead, and small relationship" Them together is just not right at all. Mario held out his hand to Diddy while laughing at the idea. "Mario, I've got an idea" Mario actually started trying to catch up, using stars, bullets, and mushrooms while destroying everyone with shells. Diddy followed behind him while he trampled over everyone. They were both in 4th and 6th afterwards, rivaling Yoshi and Baby Peach who were trying to catch up to top 2. "Mario? And Diddy? CATCHING UP??? No shot" Yoshi Laughed while holding Baby Peach simultaneously drifting down the twisty section where the double cut is. "Troy would be very disappointed in you Yoshi" Mario Said while ramming yoshi with triple green shells, causing his bike to topple into the abyss before Lakitu went down to lift him up with his fishing rod. "This is the only rescue your getting you green goblin" Lakitu said frustratedly holding Yoshi's bike before dropping him on the track. Mario and Diddy jumped on to the tracks where they were about to crash. "Damnit Mario, I'm sorry" Diddy said while trying to catch up. "Don't worry, it's my fault" Mario did a wheelie trying to keep his speed up going into the final lap, Daisy and Funky Kong still far ahead. Funky Kong jumped out of his bike to hug Daisy before jumping back on it after preforming a backflip with his bike as a trick before going to the snow mound section. "Mario, nows our time to initiate our plan" Diddy said holding a Blue Shell he secretly stole from the staff section of the DK Summit course before the race started. "DIDDY WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?" Mario was giggling and scheming. Diddy whispered, "I stole it." Diddy waited until he saw Funky and Daisy both coming up before the finish line to try and bait one of them into throwing something backward. Funky Kong saw the blue shell notification on his radar and alerted Daisy that he had to throw a green shell backward so it doesn't explode and hit Daisy when he gets hit by the blue shell. Daisy approved and he threw it backward, it bounced everywhere, and then it had the 0.00045 chance to do a gravity-defying bounce back forward to hit Daisy, and It did. It hit her bike and caused her to spin out, and when the blue shell was right above Daisy, it disappeared, Funky Gasped in fear as he saw Daisy crash into the side of the fence right before the finish line, then out of nowhere, his bike explodes in a blue smokey mushroom cloud, the blue shell teleported to his bike and exploded it before the finish line, causing everyone to pass him and Daisy, making his team get bottom two, even to Mario and Diddy Kong. Diddy blew raspberry[s] at Funky as he was lying on the ground right next to his bike which was smoking because of the burnt engine. He also laughed hysterically at him before crossing the finish line with Mario. Funky Kong got his consciousness back, and saw his Flame Runner bike smoking, and with a couple of parts being bent as well. He looked over in shock, as his team on the leaderboard was confirmed, dead last. 6th/Last Place - Team Funky Flyers: Funky Kong, Daisy, Funky saw Daisy on the ground, flat on her face kicking and screaming. Funky slowly walked over to her, and tried to talk to her. "D-d-d-Daisy??" Funky let his hand out to try and lift her up. Daisy got up hastily, and pushed him away from her, she stomped all the way to the basement of the MarioKart Wii Race DK Summit bullshit, Funky tried to follow her, but she kicked him in the chest, his body went into the snow, where the out of bounds of the track is. Daisy's pouting could be heard from the starting line, and clouds started to overcast the whole track, Diddy and Mario were giggling and laughing while everyone did victory laps around the course, everyone was having fun, except for funky kong, and especially Daisy. Funky Kong accidentally threw the whole race for him, and his teammate. Funky kong punched his was out of the snow, and sadly walked to where the starting line was where everyone was about to cross it again. Yoshi looked over to see Funky kong with his head down, Baby Peach giggled, "too bad funky he he he!!!" Yoshi put his hand over her mouth and got off his standard bike, he walked over to Funky Kong, and put his hand on funky's shoulder. "What's wrong big guy?" Yoshi was concerned on why Funky Kong was sad, and why he didn't win the race. Funky Kong wasn't happy about not winning the race, he was more sad that he lost Daisy, he couldn't stand the thought of losing his only friend. "I had a special girl in my heart, and I threw the fucking race all because of a stupid laggy blue shell" Yoshi gasped, he remembered Diddy having a blue shell in his hand, but it looked odd, he remembered it having a little button on it named "invisible mode", he didn't know what happened next tho, but he guessed that Diddy threw it at the perfect time to make Funky Kong lose. "Funky, I think I know why you lost" Yoshi said softly. "He's bad! That why he lose race, ahahahahahaaa!" Baby Peach giggled and blew raspberry in Funky's Face. Funky Kong grabbed Baby Peach and gave her a little slap across the face, making her cry loudly. "THE LOOSER HURT ME FEELINGSSSS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Yoshi picked her up and put a pink pacifier in her mouth, causing her to stop crying while looking at Funky Kong. "Basically, Diddy threw an invisible blue shell at you, the same blue shell that was in the stands with the Shy Guys" Yoshi Confessed the truth to Funky Kong. Funky Kong just stood there, his under eye skin twitching as his shades were shaking a bit. "Funky Kong??" Funky Kong's whole face turned red, he pushed Yoshi out of the way, got on his bike, and cranked it up to 200cc to drive all the way up to where everyone was on the mountain in rage. On the snow mounds up top on the mountain... Everyone was dancing, and having fun, the winning team was DK and Dry Bowser. A little later, and Daisy stomped to the snow mounds section and kicked the radio out of Mario's hands, and threw it at DK. "Gah Dayum, what made you so mad?" Bowser laughed as he saw Daisy pout and stomp through the dancing area. Daisy grabbed him by the tail and did a Super Mario 64 "Gay Bowser" classic to him to the edge of the snow mounds where the red fence is, she tried to hold her tears in while angrily slamming her feet while walking through the rest of the snow mounds. Diddy and Mario's eyes widened as they imagined Funky Kong getting body slammed by Daisy. "Damn, he really fucking sucks if he made Daisy almost want to cry" Mario stiffened up trying not to have his body malformed by Daisy if she hears him from across the snow hump section of the DK summit track. Daisy was seen far away at the double shortcut sitting up by a red net fence with her head in her knees.Mario then heard a loud raspy engine from the other side of the track, and saw a bike do 2 flips, and launch itself at the winner's podium where DK was standing.It was Funky Kong, on Yoshi's Standard Bike, his body covered most of it because the bike was a little small for him, but he still managed to kick DK off the podium with his feet before landing."Oh no..." Diddy trembled next to Mario after seeing DK being flailed off the 1st place rectangle."We're fucking screwed, Diddy" Mario looked over at him and adjusted his red hat.Funky Kong turned his head towards them, with a pissed expression on his face.He stomped over to them, with everyone else looking at him as he was walking over to them."So...according to what Yoshi Told me, you two assholes cheated to make me lose? ALL OF THAT FUCKING MONEY I SPENT ON THAT!!!" Funky Kong had his fists ready to knock both of them into the side of the track. Funky Kong was thinking to himself while getting closer and closer to them."Listen, w-w-we didn't think it would go this far" Diddy stepped back a little bit.Funky looked at them, and snarled."Oh for..fucking.." Funky grabbed Diddy Kong and Front-flip-kicked him to the red snow fence. Daisy looked over her shoulder from where she was sitting, she had been crying far away from where everyone else was."YOU LITTLE PIECES OF SHIT!!" Funky Grabbed a barrel from his pocket and smashed it right on their heads causing them to be injured and launched."WAHAHAHAhAAAAA!!!"Funky Kong had everyone fixed on him after kicking both of their asses. They all had concerned faces."OWWWW!"Daisy kept crying on the snowy terrain after seeing what Funky did.Funky Kong saw Wario laughing at him from the 3rd place podium, he kicked him off the platform and flipped him off before running over to where Daisy was."That big hairy PIECE OF-" Wario started to steam over to Funky Kong and punch him in his leg, but he fell over due to Luigi tripping him.Funky Kong slowly made his way over to Daisy. "Hey" He let his hand out to her.Daisy looked up, and saw Funky Kong and his hand out.She got up, denied his hand and slapped it away."You threw the whole fucking race Funky Kong, we're done"Daisy pushed him away again before he could say anything."It wasn't my fault, ok?" Funky Kong wanted to expose the truth about why he lost."WHO'S FAULT COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN BESIDES YOURS???" Daisy growled at him before tears fell down her face again."Listen, I knew you're upset at me, but I didn't MEAN to throw the race, those two bastards over there stole one of the staff's blue shells, which have special invisible buttons on them, it appeared above my Bike, and spun me out." Funky Said while still trying to convince Daisy it wasn't actually his fault."BUT YOU LITERALLY BACK-SPAMMED ME AT THE LINE YOU DUMBASS!" Daisy pulled his tank top while yelling in his face."I can confirm that I didn't mean to throw" Funky Kong wanted Daisy to trust him on this, but she couldn't after what happened."TELL ME WHO IT WAS THEN!! HOW THE HOLY HELL DID SOMEONE MAKE YOU THROW A RACE??" Daisy had enough of Funky's "lies" and Ran off down the mountain where the track was, crying loudly.Funky Kong just stood there and watched as everyone behind him looked in his direction. His arms tensed up, and they had a million veins in them."WHY CAN'T ANYONE REMEMBER ANYTHING?!?" Funky Screamed in anger."Uh, Funky" Yoshi's voice reached Funky.Funky heard Yoshi trying to reach him.Yoshi ran over to him and told him something vary important about what had happened."Funky, I told the staff about it, and they're on their way up the mountain to solve this situation," Yoshi said as he was clearly out of breath from running up the mountain and somehow launching through the canon without a kart or bike.Funky Kong saw the shy guy staff roll up the mountain, and they told everyone to listen very closely."LISTEN EVERYONE!!! I NEED TO KNOW SOME THINGS THAT HAPPENED DURING THE RACE!!"The Green shy guy was holding a Megaphone, and Diddy and Mario both stiffed up after hearing that."NOW, WHICH ONE OF YOU DILIQUENTS STOLE A STAFF ENGRAVED, CUSTOMLY MADE, COMPUTERIZED, INVISIBLE BLUE SHELL???" The red shy guy said angrily addressing everyone. "Me! I stole it! HAHAHAHA!" Luigi yelled out."NO YOU DIDN'T! BE SERIOUS EVERYONE!!" The shy guy yelled out.Diddy and Mario looked at eachother with fear, as the Shy Guy looked over in their direction."Bro, i think we found who stole it" The green shy guy said."Welp, you know what do to" The red shy guy got out his ties and metal springs.Diddy and Mario gulped at the sound of the metal clanking."DIDDY KONG AND MARIO, PLEASE STAND BY US" The red shy guy said with the mega phone.Diddy and Mario both stood by the Shy Guys, ready to be kicked out the Lounge Race DK summit area."THESE TWO, THESE TWO IDIOTS CAUSED COMMOTION BETWEEN TWO OTHER RACERS ON A TEAM WITH EACH OTHER, AND NOW, WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE OF TWO BROKEN MOTORCYCLES!!!"Everyone gasped."Mario, I've lost faith in you completely" Luigi angrily looked at Mario and Diddy Kong."DIDDY WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA-" DK had his fist in the air."SILENCE EVERYONE! THESE TWO REJECTS ARE GOING TO BE KICKED OUT OF THE RACE FOR 1 YEAR, THEY WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN, EVER!!!" The red shy guy said before tieing them both up and walking them to both of their karts."Damn" Dry Bowser looked over his shoulder to still see Funky Kong watching them both be taken away, with Daisy watching from an even further distance.Diddy and Mario both had tears in their eyes."You two have really done it now" The red shy guy said."Look, it was supposed to be a prank" Diddy Said with a slight grin on his face."YOU DUMBASS YOU STOLE A STAFF ITEM THAT DIDN'T BELONG TO YOU AND RUINED A RACE!!!" The green shy guy said driving them both down the canon. Diddy and Mario sat in their karts, both in shock."I'm sorry guys, but it's too late for that now. I'm sorry" Diddy Kong said with a smile on his face."Seriously, you both are never getting invited back here" The red shy guy walked them both out of the gates to the racetrack, and locked it so they couldn't come back in.Back on top of the DK snow mountain, Funky Kong sadly walked down the mountain and left the race track."Hey Funky, wanna ride back home?" Tiny Kong saw him walking from further distances away. "No" Funky just sadly walked along the path he had taken to get here all the way back to the DK house.
