Spring

Chapter 31

When Ben, Harry and Josh got back, Harry changed and put his shoes back on.
" I'm going out."
" You sure?"
" Mhm."
" See you later."
" Bye." Harry said before walking out. Ben walked upstairs to his room, laying down Josh started playing with his hair.
" Baby, what's up?" 
Ben stayed silent.
" Baby, please. There is something eating you up inside and I need you to tell me. If not for you but for me? I hate seeing you so upset."
" It's...I..." Ben didn't know what to do. He sat up and crossed his legs, Josh shifted to do the same and sat facing him. He took Ben's hand to comfort him. His love language was physical affection, any form of comfort would help.
" Harry...he isn't okay."
" I could tell."
" But, It's to do with Ash a-and Georgia."
" What about them?"
" Harry has had the biggest crush on Ash for a while...since Christmas that I know of. Could even be longer than that. But he thinks he can't say anything and kept it inside and now he keeps going on about how he was too stupid to think she would ever love him, he hates himself for not saying anything to her."
" So.."
" So..I've been allowing him to  talk to me but I can't help him and he won't get any proper help because, it isn't 'that bad' so he keeps it inside and now I'm trapped between my two best friends and I don't know what to do Josh, if I say nothing then it isn't fair to Ash for Harry to be lying to her but if I tell her then I am betraying Harry's trust and that's equally as bad and I don't know what to do anymore..."

" Ben, this isn't for you to deal with alone. You should have told me sooner."
" But Harry didn't want anyone to know Josh! You know how that is..."
" Yes but if it is hurting you then it becomes your problem to share, not everyone but someone to help you process everything. Ben, I love you so much and I am sure your friends are thankful that you are dedicated to making sure they are okay but you matter to, your mental health is just as important."
" Yeah..?"
" Mhm...you know. I think we should get you back into those therapy sessions."
"...really..?"
" Baby.." Josh moved Ben to sit on his lap and hugged him, " You aren't okay, having to keep all of this with in? It's not healthy and it is clear it's hurting you, as much as I wish I could make it all better and just go away I can't, you should talk to someone who can help you better with handling it. We can ask Charlie about somewhere better and find somewhere more suited to you, it's about how comfortable you are and how you feel about the person you are talking to, not what they want ok?"
" Okay.."
" I could even come if you want, anything you wish to happen I will try sort out for you. We can talk to Shianne and Luke about it."
" Alright."
" Now I am going to message the group and we can talk to them about Harry, they are all worried. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
" Go ahead." Ben told him, he continued to hug Josh as he messaged the group chat. 

And true to word 30 minutes later they were at the door. Josh went and opened the door for them and they all went up to Ben's room.
" Where is Harry?" Elle questioned.
" He went out." Ben told them, he himself didn't know where, he hadn't answered messages in days, he knew Harry had left his phone in his wardrobe on the top shelf.
" What's going on?" Ash asked, " Why is Harry pissy?"
" Ay, calm down. Ben doesn't have to say anything if he doesn't wish to."
" Then what the fuck was the point on coming?"
" You don't want to know why we called you here before starting an argument?"
" Look, all I wish to know is why Harry has decided that he can be a twat again. Whatever the other thing is, it can wait."
" Ash if you want to leave feel free to, you know where the door is."
Josh and Ash kept going back and forth.
" Stop it! We aren't getting anything done if we continue to argue." Charlie told them. Ben hadn't moved from his seat on the bed.
" Look, Harry isn't in the right place at the moment, so please let him have his out bursts and weird moments. He doesn't know what else he can do."
" And you have told him that?"
" I have tried to help him but it just made me worse...that was why Josh messaged. He was gonna ask you guys to help find solutions but instead all you have done is come in and argue. So if you don't mind I will look for options mys-" Ben looked down at his phone and saw a message," Hold that thought." He stepped outside the room and called someone.
Josh turned to Charlie, " You wouldn't happen to know any good therapists would you? The last person with Ben left, and the person they were going to put him with ended up causing him to have a breakdown."
" Yeah, I'll send you some numbers, I can ask Geoff on the weekend if there is anything else that would be good."
" Sweet thanks."
" No problem."
Ash looked at the floor, regretting what she had said," Josh...I'm sorry. I was angry and lashed out on you and Ben. I shouldn't have but I did. I'm really sorry."
" It's fine Ash, but be more careful, there is a lot you don't-"
Before Josh could finish his sentence Ben re-entered, phone to his ear with tears.
" Ben? Hey what's going on?"
" Call Shianne." Was all he told Josh.
" What? Ben please talk to me."
" Call Shianne.."
" Ben, please tell me what's wrong!"
" Harry.."