Precious Miracles

Chapter 3

Just then, our conversation was interrupted by a loud noise that sounded like an angry growl.

I jumped. "What's that?" I said.

"Goblinses," Gollum said in a low voice.

"Goblins?" I suddenly became terrified.

"Stay here, Precious. We be right back." Gollum grabbed a large rock, and scurried off to where the goblin was.

"Be careful," I called softly to him.

Gollum lunged toward the goblin, and hit him with the rock, knocking him out cold. Then, he dragged the body towards me.

"Nasty goblinses," Sméagol moaned, "but better than old bones. We knows, Precious."

"Yes," Gollum agreed. "Better than nothing."

"Wait a minute," I intervened. "You're actually gonna eat that thing?"

"Yes," said Gollum, "we must eats, mustn't we?"

I shuddered. "Eww, is that all you get to eat?"

"No," said Sméagol. "We eats batses and fishes, too."

"Oh, gross."

"What else is there, Precious? We can't eats anything else."

"How come?"

"We can't leaves dark cave. Too many goblinses and orcses, and nasty yellow face burns us."

"Yellow face?" I inquired, confused. "You mean the sun?"

"Yes! Yes, the sun!"

"We hates the sun!" Gollum grunted. "It burns us to a crisp, it does!"

I felt really bad all of a sudden. "Damn, that really sucks. So, you're basically stuck here with nowhere to go, and all you get to eat is cave critters?"

"Yes," Sméagol said sadly. "We stays here forever, Precious... until we knows where to finds the Precious, but... we don't knows how to gets past goblinses and orcses. Too many, yes, too many there is!"

I thought for a minute. "Wait, you said you eat fish, too?"

"Yes, we loves fishes," Sméagol said eagerly, "so juicy sweet!"

I looked around again, and spotted a body of water. "I like fish, too. Maybe we can find some together. Maybe we can find a whole bunch."

"Oh! Allison helps us gather nice fishes?!"

"Yeah, sure. Do you have something we can put them on to bring them back here?"

"Oh, yes," said Gollum, "we builds little boat."

"Perfect. Let's go."

Gollum dragged the little boat behind him as we hurried over to the water to catch fish. We didn't have a fishing pole, but Gollum and Sméagol knew how to catch them with their hands instead. We managed to gather a ton of them together.

"Jeez, they stink worse than my vagina does when I'm on my period," I said as I cringed.

Sméagol laughed. "Funny Allison!"

I laughed softly as we brought the fish back to the shore, and dragged them back to where we were sitting before.

"Now, we eats!" Gollum exclamed eagerly.

"You eat them raw?" I inquired. "Do you not know how to cook them?"

Sméagol's face dropped. "We can't eats cooked fishes."