As above, so Below

VI. Unexpected company.

The day was drawing to a close and upon inspecting my room, there were some black pyjamas shorts and a tank top sitting on my pillow. Where were these mysterious articles of clothing coming from?
Was I being looked after by someone in the monestary.
I got changed and looked at my back in the mirror, it wasn't nice to look at but it was a stark reminder than you'll always be doing wrong for doing right no matter what.

A sudden and unexpected knock at the door almost made me jump out of my skin.
Warily, I approached the door to answer it, at the other side stood Terzo. Looking as cocky as ever. I had not long met him but I definitely had him figured out.
"Terzo..."
"Nameless..." He chuckled as he leaned against my door frame, playing with a black rose he held in his hand, looking me up and down again just like earlier.
"May I come in?"

I had a flashback in my mind of him rushing through the door earlier hastily adjusting his trousers. He was clearly up to something.

"I guess you may. I'm in no position to refuse due to the hospitality I have experienced and the fact that I don't have a choice..."

"You don't have to let me in you know, I may be the current Papa but you're entitled to your own privacy..."
He stepped closer to me, making me feel nervous, my breath hitched as he handed me the black rose - I graciously accepted the gift despite not wanting it. I was suddenly aware that accepting this gift could mean anything to him.

"You're the current Papa?"
I asked confused, thinking it was one of the older 3 who were quite obviously dressed appropriately for the role. All seeming much more refined with a stable head on their shoulders and not a teenager in a man's body with a penchant for persistent fucking and playing a toy kazoo.
Copia had told me far too much, much of which I could have gone my whole life without knowing.

"I am. Why does that shock you?"

Shrugging, I stepped back from him and set the rose on my bed.
My stepping back from him had caused a small smirk to creep onto his face.

"I don't know...I guess I was just expecting someone older..."
He let out a laugh and looked down at the clothes I was wearing previously, now folded at the bottom of my bed.

"Shame that...I quite liked you in the clothes I had chosen..."

I shuddered and looked up at him
"You picked them?"
This all started to make sense now.

"I did. I choose the uniform that the sisters wear...its all usually the same but you...you haven't been baptised here yet so since that is up in the air...you wear uh...more modest.. clothing"

The word modest was left hanging in the air, like a bitter pill that he couldn't swallow. It was as though he had tasted something that was apalling to him and something that he couldn't seem to shake.

"I'm thankful of that but I don't know how long I'll be here so..."
He cut me off, his gloved finger touched my lips, leaving me no choice but to look up at him.
My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest.
"...and I won't be Papa for much longer so I'm making the most of it..."
He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it, rendering me speechless.

This was immoral, his seduction was opening me up to falling into their trap.
Are my beliefs still valid after what had happened?

I could feel my face burn as a blush creeped across it, I had never been kissed by someone else let alone a strange man.
My stomach was going to burst with butterflies, it was as though he could hear my heart beating so fast.

He stepped away from me and smiled, making his way back to the door.
"Sleep well darling..."

And with that, Terzo left, leaving me feeling incredibly confused. I was feeling so many emotions, my body was struggling to piece it all together.
I could feel my loins yearning for touch...yearning for attention.
It's true what they say, this is the land of temptation - I was turning into a sinner.

I shook my head and blessed myself as I sat down on my bed, lifting the rose that Terzo had given me. I refused to believe I was the only person he had handed a rose to because let's be honest...I wasn't.
The beautiful black rose was placed in a vase that I had filled with water and sat on the windowsill. He was unexpected company that I did not necessarily want but I also did not want him to leave.

I don't know why but I couldn't get Cardinal out of my head. Something was drawing me to him, I had to know more about him. I actively wanted to spend more time with him.

Time ran differently here...you just kind of slept whenever so I never really took notice of the days passing.
I lay in bed on my side, staring at a wall which effectively bored me enough for me to get to sleep.

Most of the night was spent tossing and turning, nightmares of my wings being forcibly taken from me were flooding my brain. There's nothing more I wanted than to be held, to be comforted, to be successfully fooled into believing that nine of this was real and that my father didn't abandon me for punishing a sinner.
I guess now you could say I have daddy issues.