Then Do Something About It |BxB|

Chapter 7- Elijah

After Luca said he had to leave, I stayed in the valley for another 30 minutes, scrolling through my phone and admiring the sunrise. Soon after though, it hit 6:30 and it took me at least an hour to get to school by skateboard from where I was, so I had to get going.

    When I walk into the building, I see two things. Adam waving me over, and Luca being swarmed by the idiots who had tripped him yesterday. They didn't look like they were tormenting him, or hurting him, in fact they looked quite friendly.

I didn't think much of it. Maybe they were apologizing? Whatever. Luca didn't really seem like he wanted anything to do with me so I figure I should start trying to let him go. Not that I cared much to begin with, of course. Okay, maybe I cared a little bit. Okay fine. I cared a lot. I wanted him to like me and pay attention to me. As a friend. Obviously.

I think it may be because I am not used to people looking in the other direction when it comes to me. I'm so used to people immediately being okay with me. Maybe that makes me sound like a spoiled brat and narcissistic, actually I KNOW it does, but it's just true. Something about Luca not wanting to be friends with me makes me crazy and I am determined to get to the bottom of it.

I choose to walk over to where Adam was, but the last conversation I was expecting was him to say, "Dude! I just talked to Dee. He said that he's in with the newbie. You can totally tell he has the hots for him." For reference, Darron, or Dee, was homosexual. Or a half-homosexual. I think it's called bisexual? Not sure.

But with the way Adam is describing it, it seems like Dee has a small crush on Luca. Fuck that. Why does that make me so mad? That Dee was able to befriend him before I could? Darron was probably one of the hottest guys in the school. Wait, wait, wait, I am totally getting ahead of myself. I don't even KNOW if Luca is gay. And. why. Do. I. Care. I don't. I don't care. Im done. I need a distraction. I need to get Luca off my mind. Now.

Speak of the goddamn devil, Darron seems to be making his way over to us. I swear if he starts talking about Luca-

"Hey guys! Have either of you seen Luca? I wanted to ask him to hangout later." My blood boiled. I took a deep breath and what do I do instead of answering? I walk away. I am a dumbass. But I just couldn't handle Luca anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me, but the thought of him makes me hot and melty inside and I hated it. I've never felt like this and to top it off?

I barely know the guy. And as if the universe could hear my thoughts and wanted to make my life as horrible as possible, I slam face first into Luca.

"Holy shi- oh my god, Luca I am so sorry, I wasn't paying attention." I focus on the fact that my arms were now wrapped around his waist, I focus on the books that had fallen all over the ground. I look up from the ground, to his eyes. A thick blush spread across his face, and I am almost positive that there might be a shade of pink dusted onto my face as well.

We just kind of... stared? We were close. Okay, I've had enough of this. I clear my throat and we separate immediately. He chuckles a little bit, due to much needed comedic relief. "I'm so sorry, again." I bend down to start picking up the books.
"It's okay, it could have been worse. At least it was you and not some rando." I laugh too, as I finish picking up the rest of his books. I notice one in particular.

Heartstopper, By Alice Oseman. I know that book. Darron gushes over it on the daily. It's a LGBTQ representation book. Okay. Now I know. I just do, that he is in fact, not straight. He's a little bent. He's got to be. However, Luca did not seem too fond of me examining this book and he quickly grabbed it from my hand. "Thanks for helping," He says quickly, about to rush off, "I will see you in class!" he shouts.

Well that was interesting. Okay so avoiding Luca definitely failed. We were like 2 inches away from kissing. That's so weird. Not weird in a bad way. But it's weird in a good way? Like I never thought that would happen. Most of all, I don't think I am opposed to it.

Maybe, just maybe... I'm a little bent too.

   
I severely need to think about this. First, I have never felt attracted to a boy. Not before Luca. There was just something about him that just made me feel instant butterflies. Second, I was never homophobic or anything, actually I was raised to not care about other peoples
opinions, sexuality, gender, etc., as long as they are happy, I should be too. Third, it would explain a lot. Why I got so jealous of Darron, why I thought everything about him was pretty, and why I get this feeling whenever I look at him. This is exhausting. Figuring yourself out is so damn exhausting.

I just know that I need to figure this out quick.

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Lowkey not sure if this is moving too fast or not lmk... but yeah :S