when love lasts

six- fuck yeah

Alessandra Vitale:

I am so fucking excited right now. My friends and I have our first gig in forever at this bar not so far away. I love show nights.

Angelo helped me pick my outfit as I did his too and it's safe to say the both of us will be pulling tonight. He picked for me a cross over shirt and pair of his bleached pants, I only agreed on them since they make my ass pop.

The only downside to this outfit is the fact that I can't wear any rings. Take it from me, wearing rings while playing the drummers hurts like a bitch and I have the scars to prove it. I don't know how Travis Barker does it to be completely honest.

I personally believe that the outfit I picked for Angelo is better than my own. We pimped an old rocker tee with some bell bottoms. He looks like a rockstar's boyfriend and I am totally here for it.

"AJ, can you come check this?" Arlo calls for me from his room. I've been trying to pack my shit but that's impossible with these men.

"What's up baby face."

"I want you to make sure you know the line up of songs. It'll just make everything go smoother if you're own hundred percent sure of the order." I've gone over this list a million fucking times, but how can I say no to that face.

"Hand it over."

It's not a bad line up tonight. The bar we're playing at tonight is the prime spot for underage drinkers and junkies so we don't need a crazy playlist.

I spot a few classics off the bat: ZZ Top, Pink Floyd, Nirvana etc. We always like to throw in some originals here and there. I love to write songs ; it's basically free therapy that I will never turn down.

"Thank you, honey." I say before passing the clip board back over to Arlo.

"Are y'all ready to go?" Reggie calls out from the door.

It's tough looking at Reggie knowing what I know could ruin him and his relationship. I still don't know Reggie well enough to know how he's going to react, but I'm sure it won't be the best day of his life.

"Aj, you good?" He asks me, pulling me out of my own worries.

"Yeah, let's go." And with that, we hop into Mattias' car to go rock some shit.

The car journey was nothing out of the ordinary for us. Arlo had been schooling us the entire time on proper etiquette at these shows so no one gets into another lawsuit, it's not fun.

Angelo stays quiet in cars, I'm pretty sure he's car sick but I'm not really sure. Reggie and I have been belting out a few tunes to keep everyone entertained while Matthias prays that he still knows where the brake is.

Once we arrived at the bar, people were already filling in and holy shit was I nervous. I love performing, obviously, but that doesn't change the fact that I shit a brick before every show. My mom bought me some pills for it that she heard about on some Facebook page.

My family have never seen me perform simply because they hate what I do. They believe it is steering me down the wrong path, when I could be doing something bigger and better with my life. I can just about manage this life so I don't know how I'd manage something bigger or better.

"Aj, stop thinking and fix yourself up." Arlo calls out from backstage.

I've been standing at the curtains, just watching people take their seats at the bar. Thank god no one we know is here.

Walking back into the dressing rooms, I am met with a hyperventilating Matthias, crouched in a corner. He is literally sweating his tits off, vodka cranberry in hand.

"Woah, are you okay there, buddy?" I ask him as I bend down to his level.

"No, I don't think so. I think my organs are packing in."

"That's a little dramatic-"

"My brother is here." Matthias blurts out in a panic.

"And this is a bad thing?" I don't understand why he doesn't want family here. I get that they're not best friends but seriously pull yourself together.

"Yes, of course this is a bad thing. He can't be here."

"Why not?"

"We write songs about orgasms and our shitty families and now my brother is in the audience, about to hear them." Oh dear god.

"He was bound to hear them at some point so we may as well just look at the positives of this."

"There are no positives."

"Do you want to get paid? If so, get your ass on that stage and sing your heart out or so help me god, I will drag you out myself." I tell him like a mother would to her brat of a child.

"Ok, yeah. We're gonna do great, right?"

"We're gonna do fucking amazing." I reassure my friend, pushing his hair back into place.

"This looks real cute and all but we still have a show to do people." Reggie calls out from the doorway.

"He's right, you ready to rock some shit?"

"That's a stupid question." Matthias responds now much more cheery.

We did in fact rock some shit.

The whole set went according to plan, except for the fact that Matthias was on the verge of tears by the end of it. He had reason so none of us questioned it.

Now we were backstage and away from the audience's drunken gazes, my friends and I went insane with cheers filling the room.

"That was so fucking cool!" Angelo bellows as he continues sliding down the wall to meet the floor.

"I know." Matthias agrees as he too rests on the floor, the rest of us soon joining the pair.

"You did so good, Matty." I tell my friend once I see him start to zone out. The look in his eyes fades to what appears to be nothing, but to him that means everything.

"I know." He responds lowly.

"I'm sure your brother's so proud of you. He looked it." Reggie spills to hopefully lighten the mood.

"Did he?"

"Totally."

"I saw it too. He looked so proud of you." Milo confirms.

What appears to be a smile grows on Mattias' face at the thought. His relationship with his brother clearly isn't what he hoped it would be, but he still wants to be loved by his brother. How cute.

"Let's go out." Matt announces as he gathers himself from the ground in an instant.

"Oh, are you sure we should-" Reggie pushes as a hint of concern grows in his tone.

"I want to get fucked by some cheap bourbon and hopefully a few willing participants. Who's in?"

Fuck yeah.