The Circle Of My Life

Dear Happiness

Dear happiness,

I want you.

No.

I need you. Where are you?

Metaphorically, you are a funny person, if you were a person. Always playing games with me. But, the more that I loose, the more desperate I become, and the more desperate I am to find you, The more you keep slipping away. And like any other chase, once you have lost all your lives or energy, you tend to give up. 

Even though you are not permanent in my life, a glimpse of you is enough for me to work to get to you, I keep trying.

And life is a constant reminder of you. When I'm not with you, I'm with the thought of you.

Sitting at the corner in the dark, reminiscing about my past with you, thinking where will i meet you next is also a moment I can feel you with me.

One day I was out with some family friends. As I was taking a picture of the clear sky and a notification came, from my friend that read she misses me. A smile instantly grew on my face but stopped when someone tutted beside me.

He told me that this generation has gone nuts, how do we people try to see happiness in these meaningless, small things?

I almost answer him that it wasn't meaningless for me. I wanted to tell him that though we people have high expectations, but we have learnt to settle for  less. But how could I tell him, that for us, true happiness seem far beyond our sight and this is what we get. Atleast we are fighting for it, trying to find happiness. I wanted to ask him, that does he not smile when his wife hugs him in his sleep or when his child tells him that he loves him before he leaves for work? But I didn't say anything, because if he  doesn't know that this is what happiness really, this is what he was working for whole his life, congratulations mister, you have wasted your life, finding something you can never get.

You are not a thing that people need to but or want, happiness. 

You are the thing that we need to treasure, because you are even pricier than money.

The ones that have you, don't realize it, until you are gone. The ones don't have you, keep going in circle, trying to find you in all the corners.

And that's the most beautiful thing about you, your irony.

Dear happiness, i thought that when my life come to a point where i would not wish for you, would be when you are with me, but now even thought you are not with me, I'm not praying for you. I'm just asking for a little less pain.

Have I lost you forever? I don't know. 

Have I lost the thought of you? I don't think so. Because if i had lost all hope of you, i wouldn't be here writing this.

The hope of you is keeping me alive. All I wish for one last time, is you to sit with me in front of fire when I get old, give me a warm hug, as I pass you on as my legacy to the people I love, before we part my ways with a smile.

Dear Happiness, come find me, you know the way, you always have.

Love, Zelda.