I Hate You ||2DOC STUDOC AU||

im lonely

Murdocs pov

I love him. I told myself I wouldn't let myself love anyone.
No one was worth loving. Before him I was just like my father and in some ways I was him while we where together. I'd wake-up next to a different bird in a different bed every night, drink till I passed out. Smoke till my mouth was dry. That was me.

I'm worthless, he doesn't deserve me, I don't deserve him. I love him. He's the only person I love. My sweet bluebird. I can't do this, I can't go on without him.

I was a fool for the shit I did to him. I wish I could just tell him how I feel.

So I did, I pulled out paper and pen and wrote him a letter.

Dear stu,

i dont really know where to start for this one... maybe i should apologize for the way i treated you for the last 8 years huh?

i loved you stu, i really did love you. i still do. you know i don't really know to much about showing love or getting it in return.
the truth of the matter is that i didn't want to let you go, i didn't want to lose you stu, you're my world bluebird♡. your all i have. i can't get you out of my head. 3very time i bring a bird home i see you. when i shag them i imagine it's you.

i hate everyone but you stu. i don't care about anyone but you. You have my heart. i hate being away from you. 3very night i lay in bed cold hungry for your sweet embrace. please take me back stu!!! i love you more than i love myself!!!!!! u are my world Stuart pot :(

- Murdoc Niclas ( mudzy)

I hope he reads this I think to myself..... I love you blue~♡