Sight And Sorries

Chapter Sixty Three

  Adira 

Leaning up against a thick cedar amongst the tree line bark digs into my back. I can still faintly smell my dad's scent lingering in the air. The trackers scent completely gone now. She'd gone first, then my dad, next would be me and Margaret's warriors who where going to join me.

The anxiety coursing through me was starting to take over. Things were piled high on my plate and I'm starting to struggle balancing it all. Being chaced, having someone want to kill me, my mom trying to lock me up, it was a lot. The way my stomach knotted thinking about talking to my mate's.. everything else seemed minor in comparison. What if they didn't want me anymore because I'd lied? Trust is important and I'd promised not to run. I'd smiled in their faces, I kissed them goodbye promising them I'd return and I knew with every syllable I'd uttered it wasn't something I could promise.

It would be hypocritical if I asked for forgiveness from them when I knew I might not be able to ever truly forgive Ally. She'd lied to me, she'd trapped me and planned to throw away the key. I was trying to remind myself she'd done it to keep my safe but Tala didn't care and if I was honest with myself I didn't either. She didn't raise me, she wasn't a real mom to me. I don't understand why she felt she had the power to do it to me. How could she think it was okay?

"Love or loyalty?" A voice startled me.

Pushing myself off the tree I spin around and watch as the ebony woman who's been watching me comes closer. Her braids tied up on top of her head I can see faint scaring on the side of her neck.

My eyes finally land on hers and I feel embarrassed for staring. Fumbling with my words to answer her. "I-i.. What did you say?"

Her face void of emotion she starts to walk past me. Looking off into the distance as she crosses her arms. The back of her neck exposed I can see the scar continue and slip down her back, covered by her shirt. "Luna asked you a question, one she asks us all, what we're you going to pick? Love or loyalty?"

Forcing my eyes away from the pink scarring I glance down to the earth. A perfect leaf at my feet I pick it up. Twirling it in my fingers I ponder my answer. Love is something all wolves hold to a high standard. We mate and that person is our reason for living, we'd do anything for them. Loyalty is something I've learned is important to. Like Owen and Phillip with Noal, their loyalty to eachother kept them safe.

It made me wonder if Ally was loyal to me would she had gone through with our plan? Love had made her do what she'd done, hadn't it? Now I'm dealing with the consequences of that.

But love has also brought me joy and laughter during all of this. Evan and Noal, my brothers and even my parents, they'd all made the days and nights of fear worth something.

"Can I not pick both?" I mumble, spinning the leaf between my fingers. "I can't control other people's actions and what their based off, but what if I chose both? What if I want to love and be loyal and in return hopefully receive love and loyalty?"

"The two rare work hand in hand."

Shrugging to myself I drop the leaf to the ground and cross my arms. "Why can't they though? Who said when you love someone you can't respect them enough to remain loyal to their wants and needs aswell? Loyalty and love are similar in some ways. True love anyways. You'd do anything for the person, you're there for them, you're a team. Loyalty is the same isn't it? You work together, there's an underlying level of trust that isn't ever broken. You do what they want because you're loyal to them. Loyalty is basically love is it not?"