KIBA ; STRAY KIDS

62 ; KIBA

It was finally time for Kingdom, and I had proudly danced to both the Mayfly rapper unit and the Mayfly dance unit, and both of the units had worked so incredibly hard. Luckily for us, the professional judges also thoughts so and decided to vote for us, letting us win both the rounds against THE-i-9 team although their performances were incredible too. 

We had just watched their vocal unit perform, and although one member had a little slip up, it was an incredible thing to listen to and it was super sweet. I was sitting next to Seungmin of the sofa as the nerves were high in both of us. 

We were both in costume. A beautifully designed white shirt with dangly front bits, and some smart black pants. It's not every day I get to dress smart since I like street fashion more, but I liked to think I could pull off smart clothing. My stylist was a bit pissed off this morning - she wasn't told I had been bulking up and in the last 3 weeks, I had gone up nearly 3 shirt sizes because my chest and arms were bigger, also height wise, it seems I had a growth spurt, so she just threw a super baggy shirt dress at me to put on.

Max Changmin was now announcing us, and Seungmin was clearly nervous to go on stage and sing in front of everyone. I patted his hand gently, but he stood up and started wandering the room waiting for someone to come and collect us and take us backstage. I was surprisingly not that nervous even though I wasn't a singer.

The weirdo even climbed into the closet in the corner of the room, and the rap unit started bullying him for it. I walked over and brought him into a hug, hopefully squeezing the nerves out of him. After a few seconds, we were collected and brought backstage where we met up with Eunkwang and Jongho. 

We put in our ear plugs and went on stage. It was me and Eunkwang in the middle but behind Jongho and Seungmin. Mine and Eunkwang's white platform connected making a long one and then Seungmin and Jongho's platforms were singular. I danced my way over to Eunkwang who laughed before we had a rehearsal. 

Then, it was finally time. The white lights turned to us as we started in the dark. We all had handheld microphones for this performance, and I was ready to start.

Eunkwang, the leader of the vocal unit for Mayfly, started the performance strongly and I had to try not to look to my side and watch him. It was then myself, Jongho and Seungmin who broke out into harmony for the next few lines. It was then all of us for the chorus, but Seungmin was the main vocal with a few solo lines in between.

Eunkwang had a few higher pitched lines, but he sang them beautifully, and Jongho and I finished off Verse 1 together softly. Seungmin had a line, and then it was Jongho and I who went higher and started to harmonise, and Eunkwang did a soft adlib.

Jongho had a few solo lines which he executed perfectly, and then Seungmin started to harmonise with him, and I came to a revelation. 

This beautiful singing was bringing me to tears, and I was suddenly so happy to be able to perform this song with these amazing singers before I leave to start a whole new project in a different country. I was happy here, finally. I just wanted to fix one more thing. I was ready to try again. 

'Love Poem' was speaking to me directly to my heart.

I love Seungmin. I can't just leave and let him go. I can't expect him to wait either. I need him, and I want him to need me too. 

Although I was tearing up, my voice stayed steady as I harmonised with Eunkwang who was on the other side of the platform, and I carried on harmonising with Seungmin next and the other two joined in. Jongho then hit the crazy high note, with the 3 of us harmonising in the background. I felt a tear run down my cheek, but I was happy.

We continued harmonising till it came to my solo bit where I had to hit a high note but I wasn't worried. I had the emotion in me to last a lifetime. I sang with my heart, and I hit that high note perfectly. Then as a four, we harmonised and hit 4 perfect high notes, making goosebumps arrive to my skin.

Seungmin then had a few lines which he sang solo and softly, really painting a soft image for us despite us just singing our hearts out loudly. I really felt the emotion in his voice, and he suddenly turned back and looked at me. He was singing to me, and I listened to every word. He got louder at the end, and I lifted my microphone and smiled at him as a tear ran down my cheek again.

We harmonised together and I had a solo line in between which meant the cameras were definitely on me but I couldn't wipe my tears. All four of us hit another high note, and finally, it was near the end. 

I was proud enough to have the last line of the song, so I took a deep breath after the high note and sang into the microphone with my eyes closed. I opened my eyes, and the lights were off. I gently patted the tears on my cheeks, forgetting about the ending fairies even though it was probably too dark for them.

I needed to do something but I can't do it on camera.

The lights turned back on, and I turned to the others and bowed to them respectfully for making this performance unforgettable. Eunkwang was the first to get off the platform and gather us all in a group hug, applauding us. We were led to another studio room where Changmin was present with the other vocalist group and I completely forgot we were performing just to be judged.

I grabbed Jongho's hand since he was the closest and held it as we stood in line waiting for the judges' decisions. Both of the groups performed so well but I would be devastated if we didn't win. After talking with Changmin for a few minutes, he finally was announcing the winner.

"The winning team is..." He paused for dramatic effect, "It's Mayfly."

I opened my mouth in shock, how could I ever be happier? I had never wanted to win so much for a group of people. Mayfly was a lot more important to me than I thought it would be and I would cherish the little vocal group we had. I turned away from the group and the cameras, tears springing to my eyes again.

Why was I so emotional about this? Maybe because this performance made me super appreciative of everyone around me.

I felt someone rubbing my back, and I took a deep breath before turning around and pulling everyone into a group hug. I bowed to the other group awkwardly, not sure if they could tell I was crying. I don't think I had ever cried on camera before, this is super awkward.

"Ah, Kiba-sii, you did so well." Jongho praised me as he patted my cheeks to rid of the tears and I chuckled at how awful of a state I was in.

"Kiba-sii, tell us how you feel." Changmin asked as I turned to him and put my mic to my lips.

"I think I had a revelation and a mid-life crisis during that performance." I managed to croak out, my voice unsteady now, "But I have no regrets. This is the last performance for me on Kingdom as far as I'm aware and it'll be one I'll forever cherish." 

I started tearing up again so I turned around, away from the camera. Seungmin stroked the back of my neck gently, and Changmin moved on from me to talk to Jongho. I hugged Seungmin, making sure to hide my face into his neck.

Ah, onto Japan next.