SONGKIM FANFIC COMPILATION

Too Much

You've changed.

You know, every night since you did, I was always praying that the next morning, I'll wake up to the old you again. It went on and on until I realized that I was starting to forget what you were before, and what we were before.

I forgot because the pain increased and increased, until it's all that I can think of. Last night, if I prayed something, it is for me not to break down in front of you today.

I don't want you to see me crying ever again. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve to see me hurting because of you.

I knock at your door. The sun's high, you should be awake by now...and you are.

You are half naked when you opened you door. "What?" you asked grumpily like I interrupted your sleep when it's obvious that I did not. You've never let me disrupt your sleep, remember?

"I give up." I was looking at your eyes. I want you to see that I'm strong, that despite everything that happened, you did not wreck me completely. "I'm letting you go."

You nodded. And bowed your head. I felt triumphant when you did, to be honest. It's like I win when the truth is I lost. I lost you.

And I'm letting the pain go, hoping to finally lose it too.

***

"Hyung, let's talk."

"I'm busy, Mino-ya." I don't want to talk to you because I know exactly what you want.

"Hyung..." You went inside my room.

You didn't do that before. Whenever I tell you I'm busy, you leave me alone but I guess not today. I want to tell you to go out. Instead, I pretended that you're not there. I kept my attention on the TV.

"Hyung, there's something I need to tell you."

"Wait, Mino-ya. You can tell whatever it is after this." Actually, I was only pretending too that I'm watching. I don't understand what's happening on the drama anymore. My hands were starting to sweat and something began to constrict my chest.

I blinked when you turned off my TV. "Stop it, hyung. Stop dodging the issue. I'm tired. Let's break up."

Wow. I know what you're going to say but I didn't know you can say it as casually as you just did. "No."

"What? What do you mean?"

Since I know you wanted to do this, I already planned on how to answer you. "We're not going the break up, Mino."

"Hyung, I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry."

I know. You don't kiss me anymore. You don't hug me anymore. You don't call me babe anymore. "Mino." I held your hand. "Don't say that. I love you so much, babe. And I don't know what I'd be if you left me so please don't leave me." I hugged you. I hugged you so tight.

Too much.

I'm holding on us too much.

***

"Hyung, please, just let me go!" You're crying and drunk again. "I'm not happy anymore. You're not happy anymore. What's the point of this relationship?"

Liar. How can you say I'm not happy. Even though you stop appreciating my efforts, I'm happy. I'm still happy because I know you're mine. "Mino-ya, don't say that, babe. I'll fix this, okay? If you can't fight for our relationship anymore, then I'll fight for the both of us."