Wisdom and War

Chapter Fifteen

Feeling helpless was something that I don't take lightly. I've lived most of my life as someone who has the power to actually act on a problem and fight for what I knew was right. Even when I was still a mortal, I was never comfortable with backing away from a fight and running towards safety. For gods sake, I was the only woman in that battle yet I still held my chin up as we stood opposite our opponent.

No one spoke to me as soon as I arrived back at the omada with the little girl holding on to me for dear life. Not even Joaquin made a move to follow me as I passed the child to him and went off to the direction of the stadium sitting right above the omada. It was empty since there were no ongoing games and the maintenance crew would have already left for the day. I was seated at the top most chair where I was able to see everything- the freshly mowed grass that was prepared for a game happening next week, the oval track circling around the football field, and the seats newly painted with every basic color.

I was still wearing my clothes earlier, stained with dry blood from the fight in the village. I tried to scratch off the smear of blood on the end of my sweater but it only ended up spreading even more, as if it was taunting me- the blood on the cotton material serving as proof of the lives I took today. The last time I killed someone was during the battle in my village where I slaughtered anyone who was left of the invaders, my entire vision filled with red. Since then, I've never shed enough blood to take a life, always either sending them to prison or taking charge of their sentence myself.

But today? I saw nothing but red. Destruction, pain, chaos.

It felt like the only link I had with my previous life was wrenched from my hold and thrown into the fire to burn into ashes.

It was the link that reminded me of who I was before Athena came to me. It was the link that held memories of me with my parents and the village that I never stopped caring for.

And Morana just took it. This wasn't a random attack. She wanted this to be personal and I'm furious that she managed to do it.

A soft breeze passed by me causing a few strands of my hair to fly to my face. When I brushed them away, a figure was already on the seat two chairs from where I was, Athena's robes falling to the floor as she leaned back and trained her eyes on the field just like how I was seconds ago.

I looked at her curiously as she crossed her arms over her chest and scanned the view in front of her. Athena was fierce with her piercing gray eyes and black hair flowing behind her, yet she always held an air of elegance and finesse around her as if there was nothing she could do without looking so graceful.

"Regret doesn't suit you." She said, turning her head as her gray eyes met my brown ones.

A scoff escaped my lips as I leaned forward and placed my elbows over my knees, fingers wringing together to keep them from forming into fists. "We both know that regret is the one thing I can't escape from." It's followed me for years, so why would it leave my side now?

Silence wrapped around us as we both let my words weigh in what it meant. I'm sure Athena had her own regrets, especially with what I've read from books and heard from Hermes' casual conversations. Not even a god could be saved from a single regret in their life because even they don't have the power to be certain about what would happen. I wonder if she had someone the way I had Joaquin- someone to fall apart to. No matter how strong or brave we convince ourselves to be, a part of us will always crave to come undone and just break.

To break means to let go and recognize the fact that we made a mistake that cost us to lose a part of ourselves. It comes with the job and to not have to do it would be like living in Elysium.

"I have a question."

"Then ask it." I fought hard not to roll my eyes at her tone and turned my body, my back leaning on the left arm rest, so that I could properly see Athena's face. Just like Ares, she has a temper of her own as well, she's just better at hiding it.