Tommyinnit angst cancer au

Chapter 6 - The Car Ride

Lol writers block + life had been really hard, but my writing skill are now improved. Thank you for being so patient!

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Tommy pov:

Surprisingly enough, the rest of the flight wasn't nearly as bad, or maybe everything is better once you close your eyes and distance yourself from the world.
Call it sleep or whatever, I always thought of it more like a temporary death, the gateway to peace maybe.
I try not to think much about it, better to ignore it for now.
Pretend one more time, at all times.

o0o

The flight must have landed because I can hear people talking from every direction you can think of.
Can't people be silent for once?
I guess not, because just as I was about to get up someone came from behind me and screamed in my poor ears. I jump out of my seat in a hurry, spine hurting evermore from the brisk movement.

Why wouldn't I? After so much, you can only expect the worse.
But before my mind could spiral down to another not so poggers existential crisis, a familiar laughter stopped me. Bitch.

"Tommy! Calm down man, what's all this jumpiness for?"

Who even was that..?

"Yeah, are you like a cat or something??"

"OH MY- PFFFFT, good one tubbo"
I look up to see Jack laughing so hard he was literally holding his stomach while rolling on the floor. Again, bitch.
I mean, yeah, I probably would have done the same in that exact moment. But that's what people expect from me, the annoying brat who swears and shouts, that's all I am. Or at least that's what the voices inside my head told me. And who else was I supposed to trust besides my own?

My though process was stopped by Wilbur, who was clapping his fingers in front of my face, and my consciousness was brought back down to earth as he spoke.

"You sure are prone to zoning out, aren't you?"

There he goes again, using his big words with his big vocabulary cuz he is a 'big man', even though we both I'm the biggest of them all.

'And not just in personality, but body wise too, fatty.' My mind whispered at me.

I tried to shake the voice away, arguing that I was doing my best, yet it just yelled at me that it still wasn't enough.

Nothing I do is ever good enough.

I remembered the comment I read earlier again.

'No one actually likes you' It told me once more.
But that's okay, cause I don't really like myself either.

I follow the rest of the group silently. Thank the starts my days are counted short to cancer, or i would be doomed to suffer until I died. Somehow, that also didn't seem very far away.

o0o

No one's pov:

Tommy grabbed his bags and headed towards a bright green van liked Phil described somewhere along the way.
'This is it, just stay calm' he thought as he moved near the vehicle.

Then Dream came out, and he did not stay calm, matter of fact, no one did.
Especially George, who jumped right at him the second he realised who it was, which led to both men falling on the ground.

Tubbo cringed, Phil hurried to ask if they were okay and the rest just laughed at the very much indeed predictable situation.

"Good to see you tommy! You look a bit pale tough, maybe you need a bit of food. There is plenty in the trunk, Karl baked it himself this morning."
The green hoodie man asked with a genuine concern look in his eyes.

"Oh, he's been like that the whole time, I think one his neighbor's died or something.." Tubbo dismissed, too eager to care. Minx gave him a disapproving sidelong glance but didn't say anything, choosing to stay silent instead. Dealing with grief was difficult own it's own, she knew the last thing Tommy needed right now was drama.
"Totally fine Big D, I am the single greatest men in history to ever exist afterall"

"Please never call me big D again."

"Should I call you small D instead?"

They all bursted laughing uncontrollably at Tom's joke, including Dream who was redder than a tomato. And for a fraction of a second, Tommy felt like he was truly happy. Unfortunately, it dissolved as fast as it appeared.

"Okay, but in all-seriousness, we're here for you if you need anything"
Dream remarked, a face of sympathy only people who had lost someone in the past could make.

Little did he know, soon the rest would learn to make it too.

Sapnap got out next, deciding on a more steady approach by simply hugging everyone and giving a welcoming smile. Despite looking as warm as it seemed, Tommy refused to believe it was real.
How could one be loved by others if he doesn't love himself?
Tommy wished he could look like that towards his reflection in the mirror, but his facial expression was always one of disgust.
The bare image he carved on his mind alone disgusted him to the point he wanted to hide and become invisible.
Sapnap was able to tell something besides what Dream pointed out was wrong, but nonetheless resolved it was best not to comment on it in public.

The group started to talk for about an hour, asking how the flight went and other boring stuff, until Dream finally saw it was time to head back to the place Tubbo, Minx, Jack, Niki, Wilbur, Phil and George hoped on seeing since their arrival.

While riding the van, Tommy couldn't help but think how expensive it had to be, how much money dream must had spent for them, for him.
The others kept on complementing the place, occasionally finding a weird random topic to discuss. Thankfully for Tommy, he had better things to care, like cleaning up the blood he stained the bathroom floor with paper towels as he coughed violently due to his curse and blessing of a disease. Although, if anyone were to accidentally step in, they would sincerely think it had to be a crime scene by the looks of it. Fortunately, luck was on his side this time.

A/N: THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO FREAKING PATIENT LET'S GOOOOOO
MY WILL TO LIVE US BACK AND SO IS MY MOTIVATION! >:D