The L Word (phan short story)

chapter 7

(Sorta short sorry xx)

I am so happy my mum threw me back in that school. But I'm still upset that no one really did anything about the rape situation. I guess they didn't do much to me but how can I believe them? I was passed out. Did anyone not realize what happened? It was like no one even thought 'holy shit he got raped'. Was it not a big deal?! I don't know. But if I wouldn't have stayed at that school.. I wouldn't have met Phil? What if all of this hell the past year of my life was fate bringing me to Phil? My dad leaving, me getting anxiety and trust issues, me getting that panic attack, me going into that bathroom, the incident, breaking up wit Kate then I didn't leave so I could shadow Phil and- he made me realize that I had something to stay alive for. What if this was gods fucked up way to get me to Phil? To give me a great friend?

A tear rolled down my face as I thought. "What if all this was fate to lead up to Phil?" I said out loud. If it wasn't for that one perfectly timed text I would be dead right now.

-//-

Monday morning when I woke up I felt better than usual. I quickly got dressed and brushed my teeth. I left quickly and speed walked to school. I wasn't late- just oddly eager to see Phil. I wasn't paying attention when I bumped into someone.

"Watch where you're go- ...Dan?" I heard a voice say. I looked up to see Pj. "Huh?" My eyes widened. "We haven't talked in a while" pj said. "There's a reason for that" I rolled my eyes and tried to push past him. "No- D-Dan just- Im sorry. okay? I really didn't mean to hurt you and you c-can't blame the thing with Dallas on me and Chris." Pj stuttered. "I can sure as hell blame the panic attack on you! You guys wouldn't shut up about me banging Kate! I didn't want to!" I yelled. "How would that give you a pa-" pj started, I interrupted, "I don't know pj! I hate being expected to do things that I don't want to do- and I.. I didn't want to." I choked up. Pj shook his head and walked away.

Pj took my good mood and shattered it. I then heard another voice.

"You were bothered to bang me? And the only reason you kissed me because you were bothered?! Was our whole relationship built on Pj and Chris?!" I turned to see Kate screaming and crying at me. I nodded. Because it was true. The only reason I was with her was because of Pj and Chris. "That's why I wouldn't say I love you. Because it's not fair to you. I didn't wan toy leave you with my empty love." I sniffled. "I AM SO SICK OF THAT! SUCK IT UP DANIEL. GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER! YOUR EMPTY LOVE CRAP IS BULLSHIT. YOUR DAD LEFT OVER A YEAR AGO GET OVER IT!" Kate yelled at me. "Shut up." I whispered. "What?!" Kate spat. "I SAID SHUT UP." I shouted the bolted off to school.

I arrived with puffy eyes and shaky hands. "Dan?!" I heard Phil call out. "Oh god" I mumbled hiding my red blotchy face in my hands. "C'mon we're gonna go talk somewhere private." Phil rubbed my back. We went downstairs to the pool locker rooms where no one would be at all today.

"What's going on mate?" Phil sat me down on the bench. "Fucking Kate" I fought back tears. "Let it out. Come here" Phil opened his arms. I slammed into his chest and began sobbing loudly and ugly. "She told me to get over my dad leaving, and she told me to get my shit together" I yelled into Phil's soft jumper. "Shhhh, when did you see her" phil rubbed my back. "This morning" I sniffled. "Tell me what triggered it" Phil squeezed me tighter. I told him everything about pj and how she overheard. And I sobbed and sniffed the whole time.

I gently pulled away from Phil. His jumper had a massive wet spot from where I was sobbing. "Oh my god I'm sorry" I looked at the spot. "Don't worry about it" phil smiled. "Fate" I said out loud. I remembered everything from the night before. And I told phil the whole thing.

"Dan that's crazy" Phil laughed. "No it's not!" I blushed. Phil giggled and took my hand in his. He laced our fingers and looked me in the eyes. He was honestly so beautiful. "You're gonna get through this." Phil rubbed his thumb against mine. I leaned closer to phil, he leaned closer to me.

'Rrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnggggggg'

"That's the bell" Phil said after clearing his throat. "Yeah" I put my hand in my pocket. "Later" Phil smiled and quickly left. I followed behind. I studied my hand and frowned. "Damnit" I mumbled.