The L Word (phan short story)

Chapter 14

(I tried to make this long but I'm so tired I just ran out of ideas, enjoy though !)

I woke up in a white room that smelled strong of hand sanitizer. "Heaven?" I mumbled lifting up my head. "Dan!" Phil jumped up from a red chair and rushed to my side. "Phil's here too? Did we all die?" I rubbed my forehead. "No no, we're all alive love." I heard my mum laugh. My shoulders sunk. "I'm so happy you're okay" Phil kissed my forehead gently. His face was red and blotchy from crying. "B-b-but.. My mum doesn't know about.... us" my eyes widened. "She does now" Phil scratched the back of his neck. "As long as you're happy" my mum said quietly.
I looked at my arm that was wrapped in white gauze. I was hooked up to some machine that was clearly pumping blood into me. I gazed at the pouch full of soupy red liquid. "You lost a lot of blood" Phil looked down at the massive, dark stain on his jumper. "Sorry about that.." I rubbed my thumbs together. My mum put her hand on my shoulder giving me chills, "They gave you stitches, we will have come back later on and get them removed." She could read the hate in my eyes and she frowned. "I want to go home" I groaned. My mum shook her head, "tomorrow". I rolled my eyes causing my head to throb.

"Hello Daniel" a cheery blonde nurse shuffled into the room holding a juice box, she handed it to me and smiled, "I'm glad to see you awake" I swear to god she couldn't smile any bigger. "Right" I half smiled pushing the straw into the juice box, "What time is it" I asked. "9:00am" The nurse said cheerfully. I raised my eyebrows, "you guys have been here for 8 hours?!" I leaned forward. Phil nodded, and so did my mum. "Good mum and friend you got here" the nurse scribbled something down on her clipboard. "Boyfriend" I corrected her, causing myself to blush. "Wonderful!" She set her pen in her breast pocket and scuttled out of the room.

"I like that" Phil whispered. I looked up to see my mum with a very uncomfortable look on her face. "Can I talk to Phil for a minute mum... Alone?" I said quietly. She nodded and left the room.

"God damnit Phil Lester you did it again" I sighed, "you saved my life. I'm now ninety nine point nine percent sure you were sent to me from god" I laughed. "I will always be here to save you Dan." Phil kissed my nose. "Don't leave me" I pouted unintentionally. "If you don't leave me" Phil held out his pale pinky. I shook it with mine hesitantly. "Phil.." I said quietly. "Yeah?" He grinned. "I will try my best to stay here for you." I held his hand a squeezed it. "Oh and..." I started. "Yes?" Phil rubbed his thumb against my hand. "What did you say to me before I blacked out?" I looked him in the eyes. "Umm" Phil blushed. "Tell me" I said.

"I said I... Dan I understand if you don't want to say it back, I know how you feel about "the L word" but I'm ready to use it on you. Daniel James Howell, I may have only known you for a few months but you are my home- and I care about you and- Dan I love you." Phils face turned bright crimson. My jaw slightly dropped, "Phil I-" a tear rolled down my cheek. "I understand bear"
Phil genuinely meant it, he genuinely was okay with me not ready to say I love you yet.. Did I love Phil? I think so.. I care about him endlessly but.. I just don't want to know me and Phil won't have a big fallout. Was I being pathetic? Probably... Yeah.

"Knock, knock" my mum walked back into the hospital room, "it's my turn to talk to Dan" my mum said quietly. Phil nodded and left the room. I looked at her sharply " Dan.. I can't even begin to explain how bad I feel" my mum starred at the ground. "Why did you do it?" I said flatly. "I never stopped loving your father Dan.. I feel awful that I hurt you this bad.." My mum looked at my arm where the stitches were. "I can't believe you would do this" I huffed. "I'm sorry" my mum pleaded. "Okay." I said, not making eye contact with her. She sighed, "I'll be here to pick you up tomorrow at eight" my mum wasn't going to stay the night with me and quite frankly I didn't care. She never took me to therapy, she forced me back into school, she was secretly sleeping with my jackass dad- she could get hit by a bus for all I cared- for fucks sake I can't wait until I'm 18.

I must have drifted off to sleep after dinner because I woke up and the room was grey except for the bright red "exit" sign above the door. Was I alone. "Hello?" I whispered, I looked up at the clock on the wall; 11:42 "oh" I said out loud in shock of the time. I'd assumed phil left when I fell asleep. Then I heard a quiet snore. Phil was sprawled over 3 chairs with a little blanket and pillow. "Phil?" I said barley above a whisper. He jumped awake, "Huh" He hit his head on the window sill from his jolt. "Babe?" I laughed quietly. Phil caught his balance after standing up.
"You're staying the night?" I asked feeling teary eyed. "Of course" Phil yawned. "You're amazing" I grinned, Phil then took my hand in his and set it over his heart,

"Do you feel that?" Phil whispered
"Your heart beat?" I looked up at him.
"Yes"
"What about it"
"It's beating for you." Phil leaned over and kissed my dry lips as I cried softly.

i did love phil.