Beastars: A Symphony of Life

Chapter 106: Still On That Train

"I need to hear you say it," Louis persisted.

"Are you serious right now?" Juno asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked defensively. "I just need to know we're on the same page."

Juno rolled her eyes and sighed.

"No," she gave in. "This. Isn't. A date."

She returned to her lunch shaking her head. They were sitting outside on an overlook to the ocean. The sea breaze drifted in carrying the smell of salt and seaweed, which incidentally was also part of the wolf's small, packaged meal from the ocean. Since the lockdown of the city and power outage, the society living in the seas had been very generous in helping with supplying aid to the city. Of course the guard still felt the need to check everything that came through, but fresh food was better than spoiled or spoiling food in the fridge.

Louis was still shaken up and a little paranoid. This was the first time he had really been outside in more than a week. He was constantly looking over his shoulder for a Jade Hybrid spy who wasn't there. Another concern was the paparazzi. If they got wind of him being with a female carnivore so soon after his wife's death, people would start theorizing. Pina was doing as best a job he could at trying to find something else for the news outlets to latch onto other than his personal life, so that was a minor relief. But he still couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen.

Juno had been doing her best the past week trying to get him out of his new apartment. Eventually he conceded to her requests and they were now here, at this overlook. Juno had said it was just to calm him down and ease his mind, but Louis could help but feel she had other intentions. That thought in mind he sat on one end of the bench, and she sat on the other with a space between them, just in case someone was watching.

"I get it now," Juno chuckled to herself, mouth half-full. "You still think I'm into you."

He looked at her and she was looking right back. He looked away in embarrassment. Yup, of course she figured it out.

"Oh man," she continued chuckling to herself. "Look. When I left you all those years ago, you had broken up with me, okay? Let's not misremember things."

"You're the one who left me," he retorted. "You're the one that got off at one station and left me there on the train to get off at the next stop. I didn't hear from you after that. Not a call, text, email, nothing."

"I recall asking you if we'd ever see each other again," she shot back. "And you said no. Actually, rephrase. You didn't say no, you apologized. Not even a goodbye. You think I'm still clinging to that past? Please. You're the one who said you'd never forget our kiss, and you clearly kept your word. So stop confusing your own obsession with a false one you convinced yourself I have, okay? It went nowhere anyway."

The silence between them hurt, but the words were ringing true. That was how it had happened wasn't it? That was what he had done, and was doing. Louis held his head in his hands, hating himself for what he had done to his own mind. Did he actually like her, or was it just a facade he had painted in his memory? If that was the case, maybe he didn't deserve to be around her.

"Get out of your own head," Juno said, seeing his internal gears struggle against each other. "It was years ago. We made a decision as adults and we lived with it. It's in the past, leave it there. Move on."

"I'm detecting a bit of spite in your voice," Louis pointed out, still looking out to the rolling blue waves, unable to make eye contact.

Now it was Juno who shifted uncomfortably. It made Louis stir a little to know he could still understand and read Juno after all this time.