Beastars: A Symphony of Life

Chapter 120: Goodbye, Goodnight, And Good Luck

Club Blood had been given a deep clean before the reception. It was a little off putting to Shoji how clean it was. The usually smoke filled, hazy room had been filtered so that one could breath without having to worry about lung cancer. The soft glow he thought came from the light glowing in the fog was actually the color of the room. It wasn't gold, but it was painted with colors that combined to make the room seem to glow with gold. Different combinations of beige, browns, yellows were illuminated by halogen bulbs in fixtures that were made from brass. That was a better color description; brass. The usual underground club's layout had been rearranged to keep guests on the outskirts and leave a dance floor in the center.

The music playing was different from the music Shoon and Shoji usually listened to. There wasn't any metal, at least, not in the sense that one would assume metal sounded. It was slow, with a beat and rhythm one could actually slow dance to. The voices were surprisingly lyrical and soft, despite the background accompaniment. It was different, but they both liked it that way. Despite not having any that was physical, Shoon preferred a varied, exotic taste in everything. He had selected this music as a middle ground between their differing tastes. It had metal, which Shoji liked, but it also had a refined melodic sense that satisfied Shoons preference for classical music that he wanted at events like this. Two very different genres of music blended seamlessly together.

The two were dancing alone on the dancefloor to a tune. Shoji lost himself in Shoon's arms as they swayed and spun, alone, but with everyone watching them. It wasn't like before, where the space-time continuum bent around them to put them in its direct center. That would never happen again. But it was close enough that Shoji felt comforted. Not a worry in the world, except for his husband, who seemed half out of it. The wild dog shifted his head from its place resting against the hybrid's chest to look up to him. He seemed distant. His eyes were closed, but Shoji could see the eye lenses darting around under his eyelids, like he was calculating, and planning.

"Hey," he whispered to the larger animal.

Shoon opened his eyes a fraction of a second too early to be relaxed and he looked down on Shoji.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Shoon didn't need to answer to see what was wrong. As soon as he asked, the question was answered. Shoji looked into Shoon's mismatched eyes, one red, one blue, and saw the blue one was bloodshot and shifting, color flecks of gold had formed in the iris and he knew what that meant.

"You haven't taken your medication," Shoji noted, before Shoon could even open his mouth.

"My life," Shoon said gently. "My-"

"Your choice," Shoji frowned. "I know."

"Don't worry," the hybrid smirked. "Just for today. I won't have a memory lapse."

"I hope not."

Shoon's smirk was off-puttingly sad. Shoji saw a beautiful tragedy unfolding in them and he didn't want to look away. He didn't want to stop it, but he knew the ending would be painful beyond all hell. His heart started hammering with fear and uncertainty and the hybrid saw it unfolding in his face. He squeezed the smaller animal closer to himself. Shoji buried his face in the hybrid's chest and tried not to cry, since he understood. This was how it had to end, and Shoon was doing everything in his power to keep him safe.

"How long have we got?" Shoji asked. He felt his heart was going to tear itself apart and his chest heaved to try and hold the pieces together before they tore at the seams.

"As long as you want," Shoon answered, keeping his own brave face. "Give me the word and that will be that."

"Why?" Shoji asked rhetorically. He knew why, and it was more a question for the universe. Once again, someone was being torn from him. The only person he loved, who loved him back just as equally was going to be torn from him tonight. And it had the cruel sensibility to make it his decision. He didn't want to choose, but it was either in his power or not. He wanted to control this one thing tonight. He breathed out the sadness. Forever was temporary, and they could have forever in that one night.