dickaphobia ➲ c.h

vingt-sept; beliefs & fate

| twenty-seven; beliefs & fate |

My phone vibrates underneath the pillow, alarming me with the text tone. I curse under my breath, lifting my ear off and fumble for it from under. Turning it on, I rub my eyes awake and lazily crack an eye open to check the time.

12:26 pm

It's already noon? That means I have an hour to get ready and meet the girls at the smoothie place. I go to my texts to see who just texted me.

[1 new message from unknown number! @ 12:25]

Unknown: hi, we're dating. bye :)

What the actual fluck? So I wake up to some random stranger confirming we're dating. Great. Just great.

me: who tf is this???

The person took a second to reply that I didn't even have to wait.

Unknown: guess

me: idk my mom? the easter bunny? a bassist from new zealand?

I really hope it's the last one... but then again I have his number saved so it wouldn't be him. Dammit. That's when someone else pops up in my mind.

me: luke?

Unknown: ding ding ding we have a winner ;D

me: fuck you

Unknown: what

me: YOU PRICK YOU DRUGGED ME TWO NIGHTS AGO AND U JUST LEFT ME THERE

Unknown: okay I'm sorry :-( I didn't mean to!! it was a dare from nathan!!

me: so you listen to him?????

Unknown: well it was a dare :-/ so

me: you dumb breadstick go suck another virgin's cock

Unknown: I didn't even suck yours... pLUs WHY DOES EVERYONE SUDDENLY CALL ME A BREADSTICK TF

me: bc you are one

I take this opportunity to change the contact name and save it.

me: how'd you even find my number? you creep.

breadstick: um I have my ways..

me: as in?

breadstick: my ways.

me: gerard way? ❤

breadstick: totally!!!

"Loser." I cough out loud.

me: okay so back to the point, what do u mean we're dating?

breadstick: everyone thought we were dating or just hooking up so I told them we're dating. I didn't think you'd be able to handle anymore of you "hooking up" w/ 89% of the 11th grade guys so I just said we're dating now. so yayyy you're my new "girlfriend"

me: omfg r u serious?!

breadstick: sorry :-/ plus we won't actually be dating