dickaphobia ➲ c.h

Author's note after 2 years! (oops)

hey guys it's mars and I'm currently in my bed right now and it is almost 4am. I can't believe I spent the night going through this fan fiction after 2 years of guilt hidden inside me. I had felt so much pressure that week when I was 14 and about to write calum's part in response to the cliffhanger. I had gotten distracted by internet drama and some things negatively happened and I grew self conscious of this story and my writing in general. writer's block hit me hard in the face bro like okay I want d ea t h

looking back at this story, I realized how many mistakes I've made and how many time I literally cringe at my childish jokes and puns and I'm sorry if I offended anyone! I was young and I was a young writer but I know over the years, I have definitely improved.

I know no one is probably reading this rn bc like yA GIRL FUCKED UP BY NEVER UPDATING AND ACTUALLY PUTTING A DISCONTINUED TAG ON THIS? like wh a t? I'm still shocked at how many people still read this and if it wasn't for a mutual of mine on twitter who dmed me literally begging me to update it in 2017, I was honestly baffled

this story started off as a joke because it was originally just suppose to be a serious story about someone's perspective during virgin years and how she wasn't fitting in... but being the silly me I was, I used a funnier title and decided to add comedic elements to this story —which are 80% cringy af when I look back at them.

I want to honestly continue this story and I really want to aim to finish this book for last and share with you my new ideas and hopefully I can still be funny and weird but I've quite matured (somewhat hah)

this story will go under some construction if I'm not too lazy and I will continue in third person's perspective because that is what I'm best at now. hopefully this doesn't mess with any readers but I hope you understand!

I deeply apologize and I'm just glad right now that I didn't make 5sos famous in this because... boy have they changed in the last two years. most of my jokes here are still from 2015 or 2014! like what! I know I've lost a huge number of readers and I know many people have drifted off into other fandoms in the last two years but if you still like this fanfic, then I love you okay.

— mars (@lustfuldrums on twitter)

(I HOPE NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE HATE ME)

ps. I have updated chapter 29 and I'm not sure if many people can see it or not but it's like the one before this note I guess? just incase you can't see it if you swipe right