Phantom // Tom -Iceman- Kazansky

Chapter 4

The sun had barely risen above the horizon but I was still awake. It was another two hours until my alarm would go off, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Too many thoughts raced in my head and I felt restless. Turning onto my side my gaze fell on the photo standing on my bedside table, it was a family photo. I looked at my seven year old self, smiling brightly at the camera with a wild mane of wavy sandy hair. Next to me stood a 10 year old Pete, also smiling but a bit more composed. Behind us stood our parents, they were both alive back then and I can still remember every time they looked at each other. The love in their eyes. They shared that kind of magical love that you only found in books, that kind of love I wanted to experience but I knew better. While Pete got all his looks from dad I wasn't similar to none of them. Mom was blonde with blue eyes and people who knew my mom always told me that I looked exactly like her. Though I couldn't see that. I wasn't pretty in my eyes, at least not as pretty as mom was.

And now the only one left alive was Pete. 

We never got along, he always commented about everything I did wrong, everything I said, how I looked. It was like he desperately tried to find something -anything- to upset me and most of the time he did. After a while I got used to it and tried to ignore him, but deep down it only fueled my insecurities and doubt. After dad died Pete got more distant, more arrogant, much like these days. Meanwhile I got closer to mom and tried to be there for her. She died not long after dad and it was just me and Pete left. But he was already off to flight school and barely cared for me. You could say that I grew up very fast and had to learn the ways of the world. But I never lost my passion for aircrafts and it was in memory of my parents that I decided to make my dream come true, whatever it took.

Turning back onto my back I stared up at the ceiling. My thoughts were still running wild and I decided to get up, there was no point in doing nothing. I quickly changed into my workout clothes and my running shoes. The house was  deadly silent as I carefully made my way to the door. I quickly exited the house and began running. I didn't know where but I had to run. It always helped me think and get my head on straight. The thoughts calmed down and I noticed that I had run all the way to the beachwalk. The events of the last week infiltrated my mind and I gritted my teeth at the thought.

For the last couple of days the competitiveness between me and Icefall only increased. Even if it  was simple questions in class, we both fought to answer correctly. It didn't stop there, though. Every time I did something wrong or got shot down in a hop he would comment and the way he said it made me feel like an idiot, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And I couldn't even make a good comeback because he was right most times. But the absolutely worst was that I started losing most of my hops. I would get shot down meanwhile he won. I would fail when he succeded and even if I didn't show it, it was starting to get to me. I was irritable and the lack of sleep didn't help. I started to doubt myself.  But I kept the doubt behind a cold facade and hoped that it wasn't noticeable.

Dismissing those thoughts I concentrated on my run and increased the tempo. Forty minutes later I ran up our driveway. Stopping I put my hands on my knees, breathing deep. My lungs were screaming for air and my legs were hurting so much. With tired steps I walked inside and went to shower. The cold water washed away the sweat and lingering thoughts and I exhaled. I needed this. When I stepped out from the shower I felt clean and fresh again. Wrapping a towel around me I then made my way to my room and changed into my tan uniform.

Making my way down to the kitchen I hummed some random song and started making breakfast. Hugh joined in later and we ate together before heading to the base. The first class was pretty boring but I tried my best. It was then time for a hop and we all changed into flight gear. Iceman and Hollywood were first up and to my disappointment they nailed Jester. 

Hugh and I made our way to our F-14 and climbed up. Sitting down for a second I took a deep breath and reminded myself to concentrate on the hop, not on Ice or our stupid competition. After closing the canopy I asked permission to take off, they granted my wish and I steered the plane onto the tarmac. We took off and flew through the air. The calm washed over me as I felt the G force press against me and I felt like home.

The hop began and we started chasing Jester. I was tempted to use Ghost Flight but I didn't dare risk it. It was after all an unusual method and I wasn't sure if Viper or Jester would appreciate it. So instead I just followed Jester, trying to get him in missile lock. But damn was he good. It was hard to keep up with his small plane and he could twist and turn faster than me. For a second I lost him. 

"Dino talk to me." I said, keeping my voice calm even though I started to feel irritated.

"I can't find him anywhere." Dino answered and we both looked out for him. "Wait, there he is! 8 o'clock high." Quickly twisting to the right I dived in altitude to get away from him. But I wasn't that lucky. Jester was on my tail and I knew that it was just a matter of time before he had me in radar lock. But I didn't gave up and fought to get away from him, even if the end was inevitable.

 The beeping sound filled the cabin and I leaned my head back with a tired sigh. Damn it! I had to step up my game if I wanted to beat Iceman and Mav. Steering the plane back to base I parked my aircraft in my usual spot. I ripped the helmet off my head as soon as I could and jumped out of the plane. But before I could storm off to my locker room, Dino grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards him.

"Hey, knock it off, next time will be better." he said while looking into my eyes, "Don't beat yourself up about it."

"Thanks, Dino." I said even though it would take more than that to get me to drop the loss. He only smiled and gave me a pat on the back before we made our way towards the locker rooms. But we weren't particularly fortunate because we met Iceman and Slider in the corridor. As soon as they saw us Icefall got that smirk on his lips with a mischievous hint in his eyes.

"Good job." he said and my brows furrowed in confusion. Since when did he- "Sadly not good enough."

Of course. I should've seen that coming. My jaw and fists clenched in anger and I was losing it. I didn't know where that sudden anger came from, but there was something about this ridiculously attractive man that made me lose my composure. "Oh, you're so asking for it." I snarled and took two dangerous steps towards him. But I was stopped by Dino who put his hand on my shoulder.

"They're not worth it." Dino mumbled. I took a deep breath and let it out a few seconds later. Sending one last glare at the smirking man I turned around and headed to the locker room with Hugh trailing behind me.

"He's just trying to get under your skin. Don't let him get to you. " Hugh told me as we walked and I nodded, knowing that he was right. We stopped right outside my locker room and he told me something before he left that really made me think.

"Do something stupid and he's got you."