"It will eventually stop hurting".

Silverstone 🇬🇧

Tw: panic attack.

"Red flag Charles, Red flag. Make your way slowly  towards the pit lane"
No. No. Not again. Please not again.
"Is everyone alright?" I choked out.
"We are not sure yet"
"Who?"
"What Charles?"
"I mean who was involved?"
"Oh right sorry Charles. Zhou Guanyu, Russel and Gasly. He tried to go for a gap and that's how it happened"
I don't reply. I can't. The way the car flipped.
I shakily get out of the car feeling my knees about to give out and nausea overwhelming me. I rush to my drivers room.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
I hear the sirens from Spa.
The monitor from the hospital.
Why won't it stop?
Breathe?
I can't.

Help.

I hear a knock on the door and it snapped me out of it. I still can't breathe and rush to the door where I hear a concerned voice.
"Charles open the door please"
Carlos.
I unlock the door on the 3rd attempt and he rushes in.
"CHARLES, ok, god, am, alright I need you to look at me Charles. Just look at me. Nowhere else."
I try. I really try but I just can't.
I can feel myself shaking but all I see is Jules.
Jules in a hospital bed unconscious.
"I can't -I can't bre-breathe"
Suddenly my knees give way and I'm on the floor.
Carlos kneels down to my eye level and try's to get through to me.
"Ok look Charles your having a panic attack, I need you to focus on my voice."
I nod the best I can.
"Alright, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in- wait Charles no"
I tried to breathe but the imagine in my head keep coming. I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't.
"CHARLES."
My head snaps up I hold my breathe.
"Breathe"
I shakily let out the breathe I was holding in.
And then it happened.
The tears start falling one by one my breathing still a bit ragged but all I do is cry.
Carlos bring me closer and just holds me.
Im so lucky to have a teammate like him.
But I'm just so tired.
"Charles?"
"Ya?", god did my voice sound this hoarse earlier on?
"Do you need anything?"
"Im ok thanks"
"No your not Charles. Your in pain and your exhausted"
I rest back against him.
He huffs.
"Do you think you can race or do you want your 2nd driver Charles?"
"NO" I snap.
I feel guilty.
"Sorry I just, no. No thank you. I'm fine. I'm ok to race."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Ok well let's get you up and get you ready. You need to drink some water. I'll get you some when you come out"
"Ok thanks Carlos"
"Don't even mention it"
He smiles at me and is about to turn away when he says-
"Charles, this happened because of the crash didn't it"
I nod.
"I know anyone will say this but seriously come to me Charles for anything. I am your teammate but also your friend. You can trust me and it's your decision if you come to me or not but know I am here for you"
My eyes well up again.
"Thank you Carlos, I really mean it"
We both smile.
"Well let's get going now then, Lord Percival"
I give him a glare and we head out.

The race didn't go how I would have liked. P4 and bad strategy to not pit but here I am, overjoyed and celebrating my teammates first win. I couldn't be more happier. The incident from earlier blurry in my head but enjoying myself no matter what because Carlos deserves this. A great friend, teammate and person. Congrats Carlos,this drink is for you.

Hey guys. Really sorry for not updating. I thought I would leave this book all together but tried to write again. 3 months today since my dads passing. I don't think he would be happy with Max winning the championship but oh well. Panic attacks are something I have been having and I never thought they were that bad until I experienced it. I hope ye are all doing well. I will try to get a few more chapters in for ye but they might be slow coming. Thanks for all your support. I opened this book and was shocked to see all the reads it got so thank you all.