The days go by

Wow

This shouldn't be surprising but wow-
No one cares..
No one sees..
No one wants..
...Anything about me

Not even I care
Not even I want
At this point in my life

I feel sick to my stomach
Tired to the death
Trying is just draining my down

Just want it to stop

If I disappeared
My friends wouldn't care
My family would be relieved
Everything will be fine

I didn't consent to life
I didn't consent to this body
I didn't consent to these feelings

People always talking behind my "back"
It's actually my face
Wow-

I'm never truly happy
I'm always sad

I think this is more than bipolar
This is more heavy
Than what I'm use to

Family talk about me
They will never understand
So why try
Why should I try

My brain can't focus
Too many thoughts
Can't breathe
Can't see
Can't move
Can't live
Any longer

I'm a waste of space

God's and goddesses
Please
I'm begging
Take me away

If it's hell
Or if it's your version of heaven

I'm tired
I can't move

I'm a stick in the mud
Paralyzed
But breathing

Why me?
There's never an answer

Wow-

Drifting away from reality
It's what I do now
I stare into my fantasy world
As I rot away

Another day
Didn't even notice
It just feels repetitive
It's the same shit
The same pain
The only difference
Is that
Some days are easier
And
Some days are harder

Breathe

Close your eyes

Just to wake up in the same hell as yesterday

"Your lazy"
I know
"Your pathetic"
You can say that again
"Your fat"
Fat and depressing to look at
"Your trashy"
Yea I guess
"Look at what you didn't do"
I see every.time.
"Worthless"
Wow-

I just lost the game
The game of survival
The game of back and forth
I wonder if it could be different
If my family told me kind words
Instead of hurtful ones

This is depressing
Wow-