"WHERE'S RACHEL?" kurt asked as he threw a pile of yearbooks on the piano, looking around at everyone as they gathered in the choir room.
"she's not here yet," finn replied.
"perfect," kurt said, while roxanne leaned against the piano between brittany and quinn. "glee club stands a delicate precipice. we have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face. but as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution- swirlies. patriotic wedgies."
mercedes looked around, confused. "what's a patriotic wedgie?"
"it's when they hoist you up the flag pole by your undies," finn answered.
"strangely, it did make me feel more american," artie admitted, looking down at the floor.
"based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of the anti-glee-club terror. i've done a little library research." kurt opened a yearbook to a show a picture a previous glee club. "peter geller. glee club second tenor, 1998. he can be seen here with both a drawn-on hitler mustache and a rise paddy hat. shortly after the yearbook came out, mr. geller had a nervous breakdown. he is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library."
"patches?" quinn asked.
"patches," kurt confirmed.
"he barks at my mom," brittany commented, and roxanne furrowed her eyebrows, leaning closer to the yearbook.
kurt opened another yearbook, "exhibit b. tawny peterson. glee club class of 2000. seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stick in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years, would prove eerily prescient. I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise." kurt said. "I suggest not fighting figgins' ruling."
"oh, hey, guys." mr. schue said as he entered the room and kurt immediately closed the book shut. "ah. looking at old thunderclaps?"
"it's really unsettling," artie stated.
"and totally unfair. hey, can I borrow one of these?" mr. schue took the yearbook from kurt's hands. "you know what? this year's thunderclap is going to have a glee club photo with every one of your smiling faces. you have my word on it," mr. schue promised, looking very determined. once he left, they all shared an uneasy look.
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"HEY, GUYS!" mr. schue entered the glee club, the next day and roxanne looked up from strumming the guitar on her lap, as she sat with the boys next to the instruments. "great news! glee club gets a photo in the thunderclap."
everyone murmured unenthusiastically, but mr. schuester didn't seem notice as he rejoiced, "yep. it's going to show everyone at the school that the glee club is on its way up. when we win regionals, those claps are going to be collector's items. I mean, all of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs. but, I had to compromise to do it. um, we only get a quarter page in the back. which means we have to pick two team captains to appear in the photo. so, tomorrow we're going to put it to a vote! exciting, huh? all right!"
