I Realize. |l.s.|

I

Sequel to "Do You Realize?"

Also, his age and birth date in the story do not align with his real age and birth date, but I want this story to take place in current time.

~~

July 12, 2022

A beeping noise is what wakes me up first. My eyes squeeze further shut from discomfort, feeling my back ache on whatever uncomfortable mattress I'm lying on. The smell of hand sanitizer and soap is overbearing, and I reach my hand up, rubbing the sleep away from my eyes before bringing it back down onto the thin blanket.

My brows furrow, because I know damn well this isn't my bed, I'm lying in. Out of curiosity, I open my eyes to be hit with bright lights over my head. I squint my eyes shut, blinking a few times before they've adjusted. I turn my head to the side looking from the white ceiling tiles to the rest of the bright room. Everything is white and light blue, the walls, the counter, the cabinets, even the bed.

Looking at my hand that's laying at my side, I've got an IV in. My eyes follow the tube to all the machines, and finally, I locate the culprit for the annoying beeping. It's a heartrate monitor, beeping at a calm pace. My head to turns to my other side, and I'm met with Harry sitting on an uncomfortable gray couch, on his phone.

"Harry?" I ask, my voice scratchy and throat dry. His head snaps in my direction, eyes widening as he hurries over to my side.

"Lou?" he says frantically. "Lou, you're awake," he says in surprise, a relieved smile spreading over his face.

"W-why am I," I trail off, seeing tears fill his eyes. 

"I've missed looking in those eyes," he grins, a tear slipping down his cheek. The hand with the IV raises up, and I put it onto his cheek, wiping the tear away.

"Why are you crying?" I ask him.

"I've just missed you so much, munchkin," he admits, and I smile small at him. "I'm gonna go get the nurse really quick, alright? I'll be right back."

"Okay," I nod, still completely confused. He rushes out of the room and is gone to a max of five minutes before he's back in the room, a nurse following behind him. 

"Look whose finally up," she says. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright," I nod. "I'm actually sort of thirsty."

"I'll get you some water," Harry offers while she begins looking at the machines, taking notes on her clipboard.

"I assume you're confused right now," she sighs. "It's nothing to worry about. You'll remember, just give yourself some time to wake up. Your vitals look normal, as expected."

"Why am I here?" I ask her. "It doesn't seem like I'm injured or anything."

"I could tell you, but I understand if you want to hear it from the young man, Harry, is it?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I shrug. "Do you know how long I'll have to stay here?"

"Just a couple more days, to keep watch over you."

"Here you go, munchkin," Harry says, placing a plastic cup of water and a muffin on the table before rolling it to my side and moving it so it's hovering over me. He hands me a remote, and I inspect it before pressing a button to make me sit up in the bed. 

"I'm going to head out for a bit while you two catch up," the nurse informs us. "Hollar if you need anything. I'm Laurie, by the way," she introduces herself before walking out. I turn to Harry and he's already looking back at me, a sad smile on his face.

"Harry, why am I here?" I ask him. He lets out a deep sigh, running a hand through his hair that I've noticed is now quite short.

"You overdosed."

November 2, 2018

Walking into the empty house with a raging hangover and the clothes I had on last night, I slam the door shut. It echoes through the empty house; the house that was once full of teenage boys. I stock up the stairs and into my room, grabbing a pair of decent sweats before making my way to the shower.

While the room steams, I let the water run down my face and through my hair, the heat of it soothing me and my headache. I close my eyes, just enjoying it for a while. I don't stand for too long, though, because it will give me a chance to think, and that's something I definitely do not want. 

After shampooing, conditioning, and scrubbing my body clean, I step out and wrap the towel around myself before the cold air hits my skin. Sliding on my clothes, I dry my hair before I step out. I grab an Advil and prepare myself a cuppa before slouching down against the couch and turning on some random background show.

The loneliness fills my chest painfully, almost suffocatingly. I miss the boys, especially Zayn and Harry. They've gone off to college, leaving me in an empty house since my parents have actually been traveling more than they used to. I can't stand the constant silence, the lack of interesting people in my life. Those boys, as sad as this is, were my only friends and now they're all off building their own lives without sparing me a second thought.

I miss the way Harry would keep people from bothering me during school. I'm glad it's the weekend, because the bullying has gotten far worse, and I don't think I could handle it all today. The beatings are worse, the injuries are worse, my grades are worse, even the things they say to me are worse. They've said so many things, caused me so much pain.

It's in a range from making comments and remarks about my appearance to telling me to just kill myself altogether. Tempting. Sadly, that would be far too easy for me and for them, and quite frankly, I'm far too scared to hurt myself even further. Some days I can hardly move my body, I even got knocked out a couple of times. Of course, no one knows it because along with the ages, their brains have grown and they're smarting about when and where they decide to fuck me up.

I'm lucky though, that I'm not fully alone. I've actually been seeing this guy, Ryan, for a bit. He's 22 years old, and he's a bit on the edgier side, if I'm being completely honest. I was adamant about the age gap at first, but he's the only one who accepts me and doesn't constantly send abuse my way.

We met one day when he was at school selling some kids drugs and he offered me some. I obviously declined, but that didn't stop me and him from talking. Over time, we got closer, and I started accepting his offers to get high and skip class. I'm happy with him, and he protects me from all the shit heads at school who hate me.

And no, I haven't told anyone about him, not even Zayn. I know how Zayn'll react, all protective and over the top. I don't need him to embarrass me or hurt Ryan, so I'll just tell him when the time comes. I doubt that will be anytime soon, since he's been gone for a few months. Besides a call or two, we haven't really talked. But that's all okay, because at least I have Ryan, now.

~~

So, that was chapter one! I've got major plans for this sequel, and I'm excited to see what everyone thinks of it!