XIV

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September 2, 2019

I lost myself when I lost everyone else, and now that they've been back, I'm seeing more and more of the old me. It's relieving, I'll admit, because I never thought I'd be that happy again. I thought I was doomed to a life of darkness and pain. It's all thanks to the boys, especially Harry and Zayn. They always know how to cheer me up.

I've been back in school for a week, and it's still shit, but it's better than it was, probably because I'm a senior. It's harder than last year at times, without being high twenty-four seven and without having Ryan to intimidate people. I still smoke weed and do some harder stuff, only when the stress is bad, though. And sure, that may be a lot of the time, but it's still progress.

It helps that mum and dad are home for another two weeks. Mum makes dinner most nights and dad drives me to school on his way to work. He lets me pick songs on the radio, which I appreciate.

The biggest improvement since last year is definitely my holding contact with Harry over the long distance. We got really close again over the summer, walking nearly every day and staying close to one another, even hanging out as a group. We text when we're bored during class, or when we see something that reminds us of each other. He checks up on me a lot, and so I've made sure to check up on him just as much. I know it's strange, but I worry about him being an adult, even though I know he's incredibly popular amongst the college students.

My grades are great, but given I'm not even a month in, I'm trying not to get my hopes up for straight A's. I'm zoned out of the lesson when my phone buzzes and I instantly know it's Harry.

Harry: knock knock

Whose there : Louis

Harry: lettuce

Lettuce who?? :Louis

Harry: lettuce in!

Oh god :Louis

I shouldn't have picked up my phone  :Louis 

Harry: like you were paying attention anyways

Harry: how's school been today??

Same old. Wbu :Louis

Harry: me too

Harry: my class next Monday is cancelled so I'm gonna be home for the four days I'm off :))

REALLY? :Louis

Harry: YES

Yayyyyy :Louis

We should have a movie marathon :Louis

Harry: absolutely

Harry: lord of the rings??

Ew, no :Louis

I'll worry about what we're watching :Louis

Just make sure u bring good snacks :Louis 

Harry: whatever u want :)

Harry: see you soon, Lou xx

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