I Realize. |l.s.|

IV

November 18, 2018

I've been anticipating this moment for weeks, and when I finally hear the tires screeching to a halt in the driveway, I can't help but jump up immediately. I scurry over to the window and peak through the blinds, finding Zayn's car sitting in the driveway, and I feel desperate to see him. I run down the steps, nearly tripping on the last one, and run straight out the door. He's getting out of his car and turns around, nearly toppling over when I jump into him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

"Woah, easy there, kiddo," he chuckles, hugging me back. "Miss me?

"Don't act like you weren't lost without me, Zee," I roll my eyes. He just chuckles, wrapping an arm around me while we walk back into the house. I scowl at my muddied socks, and we head up to my room. He lets out a deep sigh, taking in my room for the first time in months while I change my socks.

"Missed this place," he says. "It feels weird, coming back after months. I nearly got used to living in a dorm room."

"How's your roommate?" I ask, sitting across from him. I remember at the start of college, he hated his overly talkative roommate, who always bothered him while he was working on an art project and snacked on the food he'd bought. Zayn just shrugs, looking less upset than when I asked about him last visit.

"Better, to be honest. We decided to split the cost of the groceries, so that's not really an issue," he explains. "He's in with a club or two, so he isn't around too much, anyways."

"That's good," I nod. "Oh, speaking of which, I met someone." He tries to act nonchalant about it, but I can see him fighting back a grin on his glowing face.

"Shit, no fucking way," I yell. "Tell me everything."

"So, she's going to be a surgeon," he starts. He's always been into the smarter and more driven girls, I've noticed. "Her name is Jade. She's got long hair that she died dark purple, almost black, which is really cool. She's pretty tall, but still shorter than me, and she's really supportive of my art and stuff."

"Ooh, what a catch!" I tease, and I can see him blush. "You're so whipped, bro."

"Yeah, yeah," he waves off. "What about you? Any special guys catch your interest, yet?"

"Actually, I'm dating someone," I grin.

"Shut the fuck up," he says. "Louis, you didn't think to update me? What the fuck!"

"I wanted to tell you in person," I defend. "Anyways, his name is Ryan, and he's really sweet. He always takes me out and pays for my food, and he never really judges me, either. He's a little older, though, but we don't really notice it."

"That's good for you, kid," he ruffles my hair. "How old is he, anyways?"

"24," I say.

"24?" he repeats in surprise. I can see his brows knit together in concern, but I just roll my eyes.

"Don't even start, Zee, I already know. Mum and Dad are already bugging me a shit ton," I say in annoyance. "He treats me well, promise."

"Okay, if you say so," he says warily. "Just...please, be careful, alright?"

"I am, don't worry about me," I say. We continue to talk, mostly about how college is going for Zayn, until it gets a bit later. We order in pizza, Zayn's treat, and watch the original Star Wars movies, before the clocks turns 7:30. We head up to my room and have a little more time to catch up and talk before we head to bed.

"Hey, how's school going for you, Louis?" Zayn decides to ask, his tone soft and cautious.

"Fine," I lie easily. I've had a lot of practice over the years, after all. 

"Are you sure?" he asks. "If anything is going on at all, promise you'll tell me?"

"Of course, I will," I say, offering a tight-lipped smile for reassurance. "Everything is completely fine, Zee. Don't worry about me, nothing's going on."

"Okay," he nods. "Fuck, I missed you, kid." He brings me into another hug, and I only say it back, hugging him just as tight. I really mean it, too. I missed him so much, and him being here with me makes my life feel slightly less shitty.