Her Redemption

21. Consequences

Warning: drinking and suicidal thoughts

The tears in my eyes just don't seem to end. I'm under the shower scrubbing as hard as possible taking away the grime of her on me. Of him on me too.

I almost gagged from how hard I was brushing my teeth and tongue. I may have swallowed a bit of mouth wash too because I feel disgusting.

I'm disgusting.

How could I have been fine in whatever this fucking was? An open relationship? Seriously what was I thinking.

I shut off the water, drying myself quickly and throw on a black hoodie and leggings. I slip on my checkered vans and brush my hair wincing when I brush right through a knot.

A knock on the door is heard but I ignore it packing my things in a duffel bag. I'm not coming back here. When I said I'm done, I'm done.

"Hun?" Another knock.

I ignore it until it's a knock from him. I don't want to see him.

I wipe my eyes looking at myself in the mirror. My face is puffy, eyes rimmed red and swollen from crying. My reflection is mocking me. It's my own fault for falling. It's my fault.

I could've prevented this. I didn't have to go back to porn. I could've gotten a different job and maybe my husband will still be with me. Maybe I'm the one to blame. Maybe I deserved everything Enrique did to me. A silent sob leaves my body my shoulders giving in and I sit down on the floor trying to calm down my breathing.

"Love it's me" Bryan says with continuous knocking.

Love

No. I'm not.

Anger takes over the sadness and I rise from the floor ready to get this over with. I grab my purse and duffel bag. I place my wet hair in a ponytail with a black baseball hat on and sunglasses over my eyes.

I don't want him to see he got to me. Not another person—I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing me this way.

I brace myself and open the door. Bryan standing with his arms crossed wearing a robe, his hair messy and lips swollen. Ugh.

Melissa standing next to him on the wall, with a worried expression on her face when she sees my state.

"Emma." Melissa says as I ignore them and walk through the hallway. I ignore everyone's stares and Bryan repeatedly calling my name. I ignore it all until I'm in the parking garage and I see Tasha getting in her car with her hair soaked.

I ignore her too until I reach my car and unlock the button with my keys.

I open the door and a hand closes it immediately.

"What's wrong baby?" Bryan asks putting his arm around my waist to turn me.

I look around and see that we're alone in the parking lot. Melissa went back inside giving us privacy and Tasha left the studio.

"Love?"

I stiffen in his arms—he furrows his brows at my reaction to him calling me that. He let's me go and stands in front of me.

I swallow feeling bile rise in my throat. He looks confused and in pain.

Ha that's funny. I'm the one in pain. I'm the one breaking here.

I open my back seat and throw my things inside slamming it shut and look back at him—waiting for me to speak.

I nibble on my lip to stop it from quivering. "I can't do this anymore." I whisper.