If We Could Go Back (I'd change the world for you)

OO3

Tommy was a big man.

"I am a big man," he said loudly to the mirror, only to freeze when he heard sleepy shuffling from down the hall, and his heart beat spiked for a moment before he realized that no one had actually woken up. Letting out a small sigh of relief, Tommy turned back to the mirror to whisper quietly. "I am a big man. The biggest."

Tommy turned seven today, and he was officially the biggest and coolest man in the universe. Even though he knew his Dad wouldn't look at him when he came downstairs for breakfast, and even though he knew Techno would avoid him and even though he knew he would avoid Wilbur, Tommy was actually moderately happy for his birthday.

Tubbo had wished him a happy early birthday yesterday as he was leaving school, and Tommy was still riding the high of someone caring about him enough to mention it. Tommy smiled at his reflection, choosing to ignore the dull look in his eyes and the bags underneath them.

Tommy was a big man, and today was going to be a good day!

Tommy was just about to whisper more cool things to himself when heard shuffling coming from Techno's room. Tommy's eyes widened as he realized his older brother was probably going to get up soon, and Tommy didn't want the first thing his grumpy older brother saw in the morning to be his face.

(Tommy didn't want to be ignored on his birthday, so please... please...)

Tommy sent one last look at his reflection in the hall mirror before he quickly shuffled down the hall to his bedroom and shut the door, wincing as his door creaked. His room was the smallest in the house, but that made sense because he was the smallest in the house.

His room didn't have a lot in it, but Wilbur always told him that he didn't need a lot of things anyway. He had a small twin-sized bed pushed up against a wall and a single cow plushie his mom had given him when he was just a baby named Henry and a lamp and a dresser.

Over the years, Tommy had slowly hung up every piece of artwork he ever did on the wall, because he knew Phil would never hang it up on the fridge like Tubbo's dad did, and if Phil wasn't going to be proud of the work he did, then Tommy would just have to be proud of himself.

(But he really wanted Phil to be proud of him. He really wanted a hug, please.)

Tommy jumped onto his bed and hugged Henry tight to his chest. "Guess what Henry?" Tommy asked the cow. "I'm seven today. That means I'm a big man now. Do you think Wilbur will want to hang out with me now that I'm not an icky baby?"

Henry's worn head wobbled slightly before it fell over, the stuffing inside not strong enough to support the weight of the cow's enormous head.

Tommy pouted. "Yeah... I didn't think so either," he whispered, fighting off the sudden urge to cry. Tommy was a big man now! He was seven years old, which meant he didn't cry over stupid things! Only babies did that! "But that's okay, because I'm a big man so I don't need nobody!"

Henry said nothing in response, but Tommy could feel the cow's judgment.

"You know what, Henry? You are being very unhelpful right now!" Tommy exclaimed. "You are showing me a lot of dis-ree-spect! I don't apree-ciate that." Tommy said, parroting a conversation he had with Phil a few weeks ago when Tommy complained about how little time the man spent with him.

(It was Tommy's fault for being so demanding. Dad didn't want anything to do with a murderer.)

Henry said nothing, once more, but tiny button eyes shined in the light and Tommy thought it kind of looked like tears. Instantly, Tommy felt horrible.

"I'm sorry Henry," he whispered, hugging the cow tighter. "I didn't mean to be a meanie. I'm sorry."

Henry didn't look as upset after Tommy pulled away, so Tommy took it as his apology was accepted. With that, Tommy set about getting ready for the day. He ignored the loud footsteps in the hall that meant everyone else had woken up and was now getting ready for school, as he carefully dressed himself.