If We Could Go Back (I'd change the world for you)

O15

Phil paced the length of the hospital waiting room, his face tense as he struggled not to scream. His little boy... God, just the image of Tommy's body lying there, rope around his neck, ceiling fan crushing his leg, it made him want to vomit.

Tommy tried to kill himself. Again.

From what he could gather, he tried to hang himself from his ceiling fan, only for it to fall, unable to support his weight. Phil wanted to feel numb, wanted to escape this overwhelming feeling of grief and failure.

Phil thought they were doing well. He really thought they were fixing what they'd done. He thought they were helping Tommy! So why did he try to kill himself? What had they done wrong this time?

"Phil..." Techno whispered, and Phil looked over to where the twins were sat huddled against each other in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. "Sit down."

"I can't," Phil shook his head. "He..."

"I know," Techno nodded, his face grim.

"My baby—" Phil's voice broke. "How could we have missed it? Why did he..."

"I don't know," Techno answered honestly. "But... we... we should have expected this, shouldn't we?"

Phil whipped around. "Don't say that! How could you say that?! We... We shouldn't have expected this! We were sent back to save him!" Phil cried, dragging his hands roughly through his hair. "We did everything—"

"We showed him love and affection for a week," Techno replied. "How was that going to solve years of neglect?"

Phil wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He just wanted everything to be fixed. He wanted Tommy to live! He wanted his family to be healed! Why did this have to happen? What had they done wrong? How could Phil have missed the signs? What drove Tommy to do this?

"Family of Tommy Watson?"

Phil spun around to see a doctor standing by the door. Phil raced over to him, Techno and Wilbur following close behind. "Is he okay?" Wilbur cried. "Is he alive? Please, is he alright?"

"Tommy is alive and is expected to make a full recovery," the doctor said. Phil slumped with relief, and he finally felt like he could breathe. "He had a bit of damage to his vocal chords and he should have a sore throat for a while. His leg is broken, so he'll need to wear a cast for a while, but he'll be just fine."

"Thank God," Phil whispered. "Can we see him?"

The doctor frowned and looked at them, seemingly searching for something. Phil knew what the doctor must be thinking: Why would a seven-year-old try to kill himself? Phil knew exactly what was going to happen soon. CPS would definitely be called, and Phil would have to fight for his children. Again.

But Tommy was alive, and that, in Phil's opinion, made every hardship that was soon to come absolutely worth it.

"You can see him," the doctor finally conceded. "He's on some pain medication, though, so he'll be a little loopy."

"Thank you," Phil said. "Truly. Thank you."

Phil followed the instructions the doctor gave him to reach Tommy's room, and when he arrived, he felt his heart shatter all over again.

Tommy looked so small lying in that hospital bed. His leg was wrapped in a red cast and elevated slightly off the bed. His neck, which was a ring of red and purple bruises, stood out against the pale white of the bedsheets, and it made Phil want to break down.

Tommy twisted his head to see who was at the door, and Phil didn't even want to try and decipher the expression that came over Tommy's face.

"Hi, baby," Phil said, stepping forward to brush a stray hair out of Tommy's face and cup his cheek.