If We Could Go Back (I'd change the world for you)

OO4

He got the idea from Tubbo, actually.

He'd been walking to Tubbo's house after school with Tubbo and his dad, Mr. Schlatt, when Tubbo mentioned it. The day had been normal, only two days after Tommy's seventh birthday. Tommy took a test on multiplication that he did well on—Mr. Schlatt said he was going to hang Tubbo's test up on the fridge. Tubbo got a B on the test where Tommy got an A.

(Tommy wasn't going to bother showing Phil his test. Phil would probably throw the test away before he hung it up on the fridge.)

Tommy had noticed that Tubbo looked really sad all day, and he finally had the courage to ask what was wrong when they were a block away from Tubbo's house.

"Why are you all sad, Tubbo?" Tommy asked, kicking a random pebble off the sidewalk.

"My Nana went to heaven yesterday," Tubbo explained sadly, his chestnut eyes filling with tears. Beside him, Mr. Schlatt offered him a hug. "I don't get to see her anymore."

"Why not?" Tommy asked. "Why can't you just visit her in heaven?"

"Daddy says I can't go to heaven until I'm old and gray, like Nana," Tubbo replied.

"Why not? That sounds dis-crim-inating," Tommy said, enunciating the big word he heard Wilbur use a few weeks ago. "We should go to heaven to visit your Nana, then you won't be sad anymore!"

"Yeah!" Tubbo exclaimed, his face brightening at the prospect. "Daddy, can we go to heaven to visit Nana, please? Please?"

Mr. Schlatt just sighed and shook his head sadly. "You can't, Tubs," he said. "I'm sorry."

Tubbo began to cry, covering his face with his hands. Tommy, upset at the way Mr. Schlatt was upsetting his best friend, stepped forward with crossed arms. "That's mean! You're being a big meanie, Mr. Schlatt!" Tommy said, pointing an accusing finger at Mr. Schlatt's chest. "Why can't Tubbo and I go to heaven?!"

"Heaven is where you go when you go to sleep for a long time," Mr. Schlatt explained. "You're too young to go to sleep for a long time."

Tommy puffed out his cheeks. "How long?"

"Forever," Mr. Schlatt said. Tommy's eyes widened. Forever? That was a really long time! How did Tubbo's Nana sleep that long? Tommy could barely sleep longer than his alarm clock!

"Oh," Tommy said softly. "I don't want Tubbo to go to sleep forever. When would we get to play?"

"I still want to play with you, Tommy!" Tubbo cried. "I promise I won't sleep forever!"

"Good," Mr. Schlatt said. "I would be really sad if you went to sleep forever."

"My mom went to sleep forever," Tommy said with a frown. "But Wilbur said it's because I killed her. That means she died."

Mr. Schlatt's face hardened. "Wilbur is wrong, kid," he said with a frown. "You didn't hurt your mom. It was just... really hard for her to stay awake, is all. She was ready to sleep. It's not your fault."

Tommy nodded, but it was hard to believe Mr. Schlatt was telling the truth when Wilbur said things like that all the time. He stuck his hands inside his pocket and continued to walk towards Tubbo's house.

"Does that mean Tommy's mommy is in heaven with Nana?" Tubbo asked. Tommy perked up, interested in hearing the answer.

"Yes, baby," Mr. Schlatt said. "Tommy's mommy is heaven like Nana."

"Maybe your mommy and my Nana are friends! How cool would that be?!" Tubbo cried, spinning around to face Tommy. "Maybe they even live next to each other!"

"That'd be really cool!" Tommy said with a smile. "I wish I could live with my mom, I bet we'd have so much fun together!"

Mr. Schlatt's face looked weird and pinched when he spoke. "But don't you want to stay with your Dad and your brothers?"

Tommy frowned. He knew that if he went to live with his Mom in heaven, Wilbur would want to come too, but then Mom would spend all her time with Wilbur like Dad does. Then Tommy would be as alone there as he is here.

"No, I think I want to live with my Mom in heaven," Tommy said firmly. "Tubbo, do you think your Nana would like me?"

"Nana would like you!" Tubbo promised before he frowned. He tapped the side of his chin thoughtfully. "But if you went to live with your mommy, you'd have to go to sleep forever! When would we play?"

"I'll just wake up!" Tommy promised. "I'll go to sleep forever, except for on weekends! We can play on the weekends and then I can go back to my mom! Like Fundy does!"

"I forgot that Fundy lives with his mom on the weekends and his dad on the school days," Tubbo said with a frown. Fundy's parents were divorced, which meant they didn't love each other anymore. Fundy used to be sad when his parents split up, but he once mentioned that now he has two birthdays a year, instead of one! "Would your dad be okay with you living with your mom?"

Tommy thought of the way Phil couldn't look at him. "I'm sure he won't mind!"

Mr. Schlatt didn't seem very happy, though. "Okay, enough, we're done with this topic," he said firmly. "Tommy is not going to live with his mom in heaven, and Tommy is definitely not allowed to sleep forever."

"But... why not?" Tommy whined. He would be happier living with his mom in heaven! He just knew it!

"Because I said so," Mr. Schlatt said, and his tone left no room for argument.

Tommy didn't bring up the idea of living with his mom again, and they reached Tubbo's house a couple of minutes after they finished the previous conversation. Tommy spent the rest of the day playing with Tubbo and eating Mr. Schlatt's dinner before he walked a couple of houses down to his house.

The door was unlocked and Tommy could hear laughter coming from the living room. He peeked his head inside to see Phil, Wilbur, and Techno watching a movie together. A part of Tommy wanted to go inside and watch the movie with them, but the floor made a soft creak and Wilbur looked up and glared at Tommy.

Tommy quickly walked away from the living room and went into his bedroom. He sniffled softly as he sat down on his bed, grabbing Henry and crying into his soft fur. He just wanted to be included! Why didn't they ever spend time with him?!

"Why don't they love me?" he sobbed. "I just want to be loved like Mr. Schlatt loves Tubbo!"

Henry didn't say anything, but Tommy felt like Henry was trying to hug him tighter. Tommy just cried, doing his best to be quiet so he didn't bother his family. Wilbur looked really angry when he saw Tommy earlier, he didn't want to know what would happen if he bothered him.

Would... Would his mom do the same thing?

Tommy could only vaguely remember the feeling of being hugged by his mom. Tubbo was the only person who hugged Tommy now, and he hadn't hugged Tommy since his birthday. Tommy really wanted a hug, but he knew he wouldn't get one.

But Tommy's mom would hug him!

Tommy never mentioned going to live with his mom in heaven to Tubbo after that night, but the idea never left his mind.

Tommy was going to figure out a way to sleep forever so he could live happily with his mom in Heaven, away from mean Wilbur and the rest of his family.