Holding Onto Life✔️

part : 31

Thought to give you one more update ❤️ 
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"I can understand Anika that you were hurt and you should be. You have that right. I'm sorry and if possible please forgive me", Shivaay said and looked away to hide his vulnerability. He is very guilty of having that thought and the current situation that they are going through is tensing him. They were so understanding and nowadays when they meet, they fight. They hardly get a week together and in that week most of the time they argue. He is still feeling that fear and emptiness inside his heart, he doesn't want this distance to come between them. He fear that if slowly this distance increased.

He knows his mistake but at that time he lost the ability to think right and wrong, he just noticed one thing that is Anika and his child with another man. For a long time, he was hearing that Anika stays in the office with Dhruv, and from a corner of his heart, he was insecure. What if Anika started to like Dhruv because he is there for her, unlike her husband who is always away?  On top of that loneliness took a toll on him, he was already feeling empty because he is not working in the Oberoi industry and this insecurity ate him up.

"I thought you started to like him because I don't give you time and you will think I'm changed", Shivaay whispered telling her his feelings as she is the only one with whom he is most comfortable sharing anything. Anika was about to shout but stopped herself realising that she already showed her anger and his disbelieving facial expressions made her weak to show her anger. She cupped his face in her hand and felt his cheeks wet, she understood he was crying and made him look into her eyes.

"Nobody can ever take your place in my and Ansh's life. You are a part of us and more than you we both love you", Anika said. She knows how much he loves her that's why she doesn't find any reason to stay angry at him now. She caressed his cheek with her thumb trying to feel his pain. He doesn't mind things easily that's why she is tense thinking about what he was going through. Anika moved forward and kissed his cheeks which were wet because he was also crying.

"Give time or not. I will be yours forever. I need your time, not someone's. He will remain as my friend only", Anika said and kissed his forehead, Shivaay closed his eyes feeling her love for him, this is what he was missing in his life. He pulled her closer with her waist and looked into her eyes intensely. His desire woke up when she came close to him now, Anika smiled and sat in his lap. She felt her heartbeat raised because of his proximity and placed her head on his shoulder to relax. Shivaay closed his eyes feeling relaxed, getting his solace back. They both stayed in the same position for some time and then Anika started to caress his chest after opening 2 buttons of his kurta.

Shivaay smiled and kissed her hand and nuzzled into her neck, Anika started to breathe heavily, and she caressed his chest slowly indirectly asking him to continue. Shivaay kissed her neck and her shoulder, Anika shivered when she felt his lips on her shoulder. Shivaay hugged her again as he is feeling this was a dream, he was also awake last night and he expected her anger and hate towards him. Her understanding nature impressed him, he feels lucky that she gives him a chance to explain.

"Where were you the whole night?", Anika asked softly and kissed his chest to tell him she is with him. Shivaay bit his lower lip to control his emotions now, last night was hard for him because he was hell scared. He was getting mad thinking about them and he decided already if she leaves then either he will die or will force her to stay with him. She is the only person for whom he is selfish, he wants her in his life no matter what. 

"You were not opening the door so went to the terrace ", Shivaay said

"I opened the door of the poolside for you. And why you didn't use any room? You know how easily you catch a cold but still you...," Anika said angrily scolding him for his stupidity but Shivaay interrupted her in middle