Jesus Loves Me

Noelle

4 years. It may seem like a long time, it may seem like a short time. 4 years to live. The doctors weren't certain of course. They never can truly predict these things. Everyday I ask God, why me? Why did you pick me. Out of all the people in the world, why did u pick me to have Leukemia.

Every week I come to the same place. My sister says she hates the smell of hospitals but I've been here so often that I can't smell the difference. As the doctor draws my blood, I look over at my mom. She was the strongest person I've ever met, but I could still see her teary eyes from where I was sitting. On top of me having cancer, my dad left my mom a few months ago. We all missed him so much but he left because of me. Mom keeps saying that's not it, that he was an alcoholic and that she divorced him because of his cheating, but I can tell by the way she cried herself to sleep and never looks me in the eye that that's not it. I can remember the last time I saw my dad. August 16th, as clear as day.

"We're going to give you some sedatives now so we can perform a bone marrow transplant, is that all right Kelly?" The doctor asked my mom.

"Yea that's fine. It's gonna be ok sweetie, I'll be right here the whole time." Mom said to me. As the doctor injected the needle into my IV tube, I slowly drifted out of consciousness.

Kelly

When I imagined my life as an adult, I never would have pictured it looking at my daughter through a glass window of a surgery room. She looked so strong; even unconscious, she looked so dignified and brave. I could never survive such a burden as to having cancer at 13. That's when we went to the ER because she was puking. Also known as the worst day of my life. Now I don't know what to do with the remains. The remains of Tanner, my ex-husband, whom which I still love. My eighteen year old daughter Serena; she has never been the same since Noelle's constant absence from home. And most of all Noelle. I can still remember those days when she crawled around the floor of our living room, barely getting out words and Tanner and I playing with her each time we had. Serena loved Noelle. More than anything in the world. I knew it because of the way she couldn't stick around at te hospital, because she couldn't bare to watch Noelle go through this treacherous pain every week. I couldn't either, but I stay for support. Oh how I wish my life was more simple.

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"I can't take it anymore!"tanner yelled. He was yelling at me again."She's getting more sick everyday and our hospital bills are not getting any less expensive!"

"I know Hun, but I can't just neglect everyone to care for Noelle, especially when were ALL going through these tough times," I said, trying to calm him down. It wasn't working. We were in our small kitchen at our lake house, on a small vacation to get away from all the stress of reality, and to celebrate Noelle's 14th birthday. Noelle and Serena were asleep right now and I was glad of that. I hated when they seen tanner and I fight.

"We can get second jobs, we can sell the vacation house, we can get through this-"

"No! Kelly, no! I don't think I can get through this. My daughter's dying and all this pressure from it is unbearable. Kelly I love you, but.. I'm going to leave, and I'm not coming back."

And that was that. He was out of the door and out of our lives forever.

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Kelly

"Ms. Jefferson?"the doctor said, shaking me to get up.

"What!" I panicked. Was something wrong with Noelle? Did the surgery not go as planned?

"Stay calm, please, nothing to worry about. I just wanted to update you on the conditions of your daughter."she continued,"The surgery was successful, like most check ups, and I am glad to inform you that she is reacting to the chemotherapy very well. She's getting better, and I'd like you to consider something." She said.

"What?"I replied.

"...she is well enough to participate in everyday activities now. With extreme caution. And in my opinion, I think the best thing for her to do right now is to enroll her into school."