My chronicles of love- JLo one shots

The hating game- part 2

Previously...

Jennifer:

The darkness was comforting and the numbness was finally setting in and with that, I saw light for the final time before passing out... 

Ben:

Why am I doing this? Why am I going near her again? I can't even think about looking her in the eye because it reminds me of the failure I was and the hurt she caused me. And now 2 months with her seem like torture. A nazi boot camp, I tell you. Acting like I was indifferent to her was the best way to prevent any encounter with the woman that I hated so much. I hate her for destroying me, I hate her because she is still on my mind every day and I hate her because I am still madly and deeply in love with her.

Shooting was difficult. The first week felt like a trap. A simulation. How could we act like we had never existed, we treated each other like strangers and were blindly professional. That is until the scene today where we had to kiss. The dialogue was more intense thought. The words expressed how I felt for her. It was expressed by regret and the intense love and hate I felt for her. So I delivered it as if I was speaking directly to her, showing what I felt for the first time in the duration we were there. I knew she felt it, I could tell it by the kiss. I was like a time machine, a time machine back into the past where I truly felt enteral happiness.

After concluding the scene, I saw her rush into the room. I felt heartbroken that I made her react this way. Maybe she just hated me. Dragging myself to my room, I resisted the urge to grab and drink and instead settled to light up a cigarette as I viewed the stars from my balcony. After aimlessly staring at the ethereal night sky, I pushed myself into bed before drifting off into a rather dark and uncomfortable sleep.

The next day I woke up and went to set, We had a late call so I was luckily not as groggy as yesterday. Finally, after eating a hearty breakfast I went to the set and got changed. I was expecting Jennifer to be on set already as she was always an early riser. After waiting for about 10 minutes, Benny came back rather distressed saying that she had not even come to the trailer for her hair and makeup and was not picking up the call. That was highly unusual for her and it seemed to worry me a little. I tried to remember details about the surroundings and her room door last night while Benny discreetly ordered her team to look for her, not wanting to worry everyone. He left after giving me a sympathetic smile, while it suddenly clicked. Her room door was open last night as I entered mine. While it seemed like a trivial detail then, now seems like the biggest clue in a detective case.

I rushed towards the area where our rooms were because even though I hated her, my love for her overpowered everything. As I reached there, I saw that her room door was still open. Completely shocked, I entered the room cautiously. It smelled like her and was instantly shot with an emotion of happiness but that did not last long as I saw her frail body lying on the floor with a pool of blood next to it. All rational thought seemed to have escaped my mind as I picked her up and took her to the hospital nearby. Luckily I met one of her team members on the way who was clearly in a better position to drive. I sobbed as I tried waking her up but her lifeless body would not budge. Why was the universe so cruel, I thought. Take me instead but do not harm this woman because if something happens to her then my world will crash down too.

After what seemed like ages, we rushed her into the ER and the doctors immediately evaluated her. Her team focused on getting NDAs signed so that the paparazzi would not come to know about this, while I just paced back and forth trying to get a glimpse of what was going on.

20 minutes later, the doctor came out with a rather blank expression. Instantly worry and anger clouded my brain. The words she was about to mutter next would change will life for the better or worse.

The doctor said, "Mr Affleck, Ms Lopez passed out due to dehydration and stress. We suspect it was most likely a panic attack" Benny who was now next to me nodded as if he was agreeing that it was the reason. He said," I am not sure of the exact occurrence these days, but Jennifer has had frequent panic attacks recently"

That is all I could think. The pain and stress she must be going through. I wanted to kill every single person that caused her this pain but then I remembered that it was me, I was the centre of all this. I stopped this chain of thought and almost let out a cry as I asked the doctor about the blood.

She gave me a small smile before replying," The injury on the hand shows signs of abuse, it could have most likely been caused when she fell due to fainting. Other scans and blood reports are also clear. All Miss Lopez needs to do is take a rest. She should be awake in a few hours and you can go see her now"

The doctor led us to the VIP room Jennifer was transferred to and I helplessly followed her. Even after her confirmation that she was okay, I needed to see her for myself. Entering the room I saw her hooked up to different machines as her hand was covered in a white bandage. I sigh of relief reverberated through my body as I saw her chest rise and fall, indicating that she was breathing.

For the next two hours, I sat by her making sure that she was breathing. The only thing that kept me calm was the rise and fall. I saw the heart monitor display a calm and monotone pattern, giving me the peace I needed. Finally, I saw her eyes fluttering to wake up as she grunted in pain. Her eyes seemed to widen as she saw the place she was in and I jumped in to calm her down.

"Hey... hey hey look at me," I said. "Take a deep breath. It's me, Ben". Her eyes seemed to ask where she was and I replied instantly explaining the whole situation. "Jen, you are in a hospital room, you passed out yesterday due to dehydration, you are okay... you hear me you are okay"

Finally, she crocked out the word, "water" and never in my life had I felt such relief. I quickly filled a glass and gave it to her. I had to tell her, I thought. She needs to know how I feel about her, no matter what her reaction is cause I can't imagine losing her.

I started," Jennifer you know that I don't have the best timing, but I wanted to say this to you. I love you. I love you beyond words can imagine and any action that I made in the past that hurt you, I am sorry for that. I am sorry that my love wants enough. I am sorry that I was so angry and that jealousy clouded my mind... Please take me back in your life. I am willing to accept any role that you give me as long as I know you are okay, both physically and mentally. I can't imagine what it is like to lose you... today was so scary... don't do this again Jen"

She blankly stared at me as known to me, tears cascaded down my cheeks. My eyes pleading for a response and my heart yearning for her voice. Finally, she spoke up in a hushed and tired voice," Ben you know I always loved you, what happened back then was tragic but what is happening now is even worse... I thought you didn't even like me anymore. I thought you didn't even hate me... because your indifference made me feel like a stranger in your life. As if we did not have a history together. As if we did not love each other... so are you just saying this because I am in a hospital bed? I can't deal with another heartbreak Ben, I am just too tired"

My heart broke looking at her in this state, the love of my life looking so broken. I immediately replied, "Jennifer, I am not indifferent. I tried so hard to be because I thought that would prevent us from getting hurt. I do love you... please give me a chance... please"

"Okay", she said. Those words made me the happiest I have been in years. "I really want to go slow, but now I am not going to stand in the way of my happiness and Ben despite the hurt that relationship caused, you made me the happiest".

I just smiled and hugged her tightly. We stayed like that as we talked about our lives and she told me about her mental health struggles and I talked about my addiction. We cleared all the misconceptions and just finally felt at peace...

Over the next few months, we took it slow, connecting again and feeling a surge of happiness and revival of a spark we lost years ago.

That day, hate turned to love and darkness was overpowered by happiness. Now it wasn't the hating game. It wasn't a game at all. It was just love and eternal happiness 

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I hope you like it! Please vote and leave comments... suggest what I need to write next.