Bigger Than The Whole Sky ☆ Jaylor

Chpt. 3 - Lovesick

October 3rd, 2022.

I felt sick.

From the second I was awake, I knew I felt sick.

So I laid in bed, tucked up in Joe's arms and wished the queasiness in my stomach would go away. But it didn't and before I knew what was going on, I was rushing to the toilet to throw up.

NO NO NO NO NO. I HATE being sick!

My whole body jolted forward and I fell to my knees as I threw up into the toilet bowl. I heard Joe clumsily rush into the bathroom behind me to stroke my back and hold my hair out of the way.

"Baby, aww. You're okay, I'm here. You're okay," he whispered into my shoulder, still half asleep himself.

I had stopped vomiting by now and sat against the wall, with my head resting on his chest, after I'd wiped my mouth with toilet paper and Joe flushed the whole gross mess away.

"Mmmm," I moaned in discomfort, as his arms wrapped very gently around my torso. "I hate throwing up so much, it makes me feel unclean and... just yuck."

My throat hurt and I still felt dizzy and nauseous, but I was fairly sure I wasn't going to throw up again.

"Did you feel sick last night?" Joe whispered, pressing kisses to my temple and rubbing up and down my arm. Just letting me slump all my weight against him.

"No. I don't really even feel sick anymore, just... not right" I mumbled back. My eyes were getting heavy and I closed them again and... and...

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I woke up back in bed, so I guess Joe carried me, but I can't feel him pressed against my back like he usually is. I rolled over to find him but stopped and grabbed my stomach in pain when I felt how tender it was when I moved. I didn't feel like throwing up anymore, just... wrong. I had my eyes closed when I heard the door creak open, but I don't think I was actually asleep.

"Love," Joe whispered, sitting on the bed and kissing my forehead. "Wake up honey, I have some food for you."

"Baaabbbyy," I motioned up towards him with grabby hands for a hug once he put the food on the bed-side table.

"Lovey," he mumbled into my shoulder, with a smile, already hugging me. I scooted over on the bed so he had more room, and he held me across his chest. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, completely fine. Just exhausted."

"Might be from throwing up, probably took the energy out of you. You should eat, love, I've got some bread for you - not too scratchy on your throat. And there's a glass of water here for you too."

I looked at this man, this beautiful angel, with so much love and admiration. The fact that he even considered that just for me almost makes me want to cry.

"You are the most thoughtful human being in the whole world, you know that?"

"I think you'll find I just really really love you."

"I love you too babe."

Joe passes me the plate filled with thin slice of fluffy bread, the one we don't buy, covered with butter. He bought it just because I was sick.

I asked what the time was as I took small nibbles of the bread and Joe said 9.

"It must have been like... 4 or 5am when you were sick," he said, "it was still dark."

"Hmm. Sorry I woke you up." I mumbled, only realizing now how tired he must be.

"You don't need to apologize babe, you were sick. That's not your fault. Are you sure you're feeling better?"

"I feel fine, Joe, honestly babe." I said with a cheeky smile.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "Alright but let me know if you start to feel sick again."

"I will, but I'm definitely using today as an excuse to get out all the zoom meetings I have."

I would NEVER normally use excuses to get out of things, especially not things related to the job I love so much, but I just didn't have the energy today. I definitely didn't feel sick anymore, I was just exhausted. That might have been what made me sick. And we were weeks ahead of schedule for Midnights planning so nobody would mind if I cancelled today's meetings.

"Do you want me to call Tree and tell her you're sick?" Joe said between kisses to my forehead.

"Mhm, yes please. Even though that's totally a lie." I chuckled.

I sat up against the pillow and stared out the big window on the opposite wall. Joe had opened the velvet curtains a few minutes ago, and now light flooded the bedroom. The bedroom window was one of my favourite parts of the house, contested only by the kitchen. It looked out to a rolling field of lush English countryside, but it's only 40 minutes from the center of London.

"I'll be right back," I muttered, climbing out of bed and walking towards the piano room. A  piece of paper sat on the top of the piano, covered in scribbles and lines of poetry Joe's handwriting. I would read it after, but I had to get whatever was in my brain into a song first. I sat and played a simple 4-chord melody. 

"Forty minutes- forty minutes to your... your childhood home. Where... where da-da-da- umm, something, something, never felt alone..?" 

'No,' I thought to myself. 'Too basic. Sometimes I hate that rhyming words exists.'

I decided I didn't have the energy to write a song right now and made a mental note to write something about some metaphor of how Joe's childhood and our adult life together are only forty minutes apart. Kinda cute I think.

Standing up to go back to Joe, I noticed his paper. Reading the little scribbles across the page, I realized this was from months ago, when I first heard him writing 'Sweet Nothing'. I can't believe that my tenth album, featuring the fifth song Joe and I have written together, is coming out in 18 days. None of this would have happened without him.

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Joe was laying in bed when I came back to the bedroom, typing an email or text to his manager, probably. This time next week, he would be flying to Los Angeles for meetings and auditions. I hate when he has to leave, and I know he struggles with it a lot too, but I'm so happy that acting makes him happy, just like how music makes me feel. I truly think art is just another expression of a person that's so much deeper than words or feelings can explain. 

When he sees me walk in, he shuffles over, onto my side of the bed, so I can climb on too. It's already around 11am I think, but we're both tired from our early start, so I don't even fight it when he wraps his arms around my waist, kisses my forehead, and lets me fall asleep on his chest.

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hiiiii, so I'm not sure if I've finished writing this yet BUT I'LL GET TO IT!

also have to edit and stuff

- Phe -