these are the very last words i will ever write

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Those cut-off thoughts that always leave a trace in my mouth—incomplete and just murmuring to nothing. Those cries of dread when something never stops aching; thus, a question lingers about why the heaviness of the heart pricks to stay. Those unsaid feelings—simple apologies, a "thank you," "you taught me to love," "you made me raw, real, and true," and why I never ever said the word "I love you." Those fed-up times that fall off like a gunshot residue—oh, dear humility, such lovely humility, I've thwarted to forget you; indeed, I did. Those young and innocent wishes I murdered, along with what's sweet and divine. Those good and bad memories that would visit me time by time—hello, these are the very last words I will ever write.

Exhibit #1: What if this is the last time I ever hold a pen?

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