Fallen Ash

Chapter Twenty: Paroxysm

Nothing changed in her routine in following morning when she woke up and readied herself to return to the library. The morning itself was indistinguishable from the one prior when she peered out of the window - the violet hued world as indolent and quiet as it had been this time yesterday. The decorations in the windows across the street were untouched, the glow of lights strung across roofs breaking up the monotony of the scene.

As always, she showered before the sun was up, letting the water fall over her body, refreshing her exhausted spirit and body. She felt like she was made up of little storm clouds, and the hot water was rain, scattering them all away. Feigning wakefulness, she dressed in the warmest clothes she could scrounge together and descended into the kitchen on the balls of her feet so that the aging, creaking house wouldn't betray her movements.

It was second nature now. A routine meticulously crafted to call as little attention to her as possible. Morning after morning she repeated the same steps, heading into the kitchen before leaving to grab snacks for sustenance throughout the day.

This morning though, something was different.

Perched at the breakfast bar with her back to Ash, rising smoke from her cigarette steadily climbing behind her, was Heather. She turned, cautiously, when Ash entered, her face an almost perfect mask of indifference.

"We need to talk," she said carefully.

Ash felt ambushed, in a way. She hadn't been avoiding Heather, necessarily - they had continued their arrangement of living around, rather than with, one another in the last few weeks without any conflict, although Ash had shut down most attempts Heather had made to draw her into conversation about the party. That was something Ash didn't want to discuss and had no intention of discussing - she had to remind herself that Heather wasn't necessarily her friend, but rather her boss sometimes - and that relationship between them was going to reach breaking point eventually. It seemed very significant that she would wake up early and wait here for her. Ash's face flushed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, sheepishly.

Heather grabbed the tall chair next to her and tugged it out from beneath the bar. "Sit," she ordered, simply.

Ash did as she was told and put her backpack down on the kitchen floor before seating herself.  They were in close proximity, and she automatically hunched her shoulders in. She sensed that she had done something wrong - but she had consistently done things wrong without necessitating this kind of thing. Saying nothing, Ash waited with her head bowed for Heather to stub out her cigarette and begin.

It began with a drawn-out sigh. "Are you really that determined to avoid your responsibilities, Ash?"

"What do you mean?" Ash asked, narrowing her eyes sulkily.

"You've done so little to complete your assignment that your progress has literally receded," Heather reminded her. "Literally. You were supposed to exacerbate a problem, and instead you started fixing it. That wasn't what the divine plan asked of you."

"To be honest," Ash said carefully, "I don't see why I should complete an assignment I don't understand."

"There's nothing for you to understand, Ash, it's your job. Do it."

Heather sighed and reached for another cigarette.

"It's not like understand half of the divine plans I receive, either," she said, murmuring into the filter as she lit up. "I'm not expected to require a reason, and I'm not given one. Was there ever a clause starting with 'because' in any of your assignments as a Virtue?"

Ash said nothing.

"Didn't think so," Heather muttered smarmily.

As could smell the cigarette smoke as it floated, lilac, and curled up to the ceiling. She was so used to the smell of it, between Heather and Austin now, it wasn't so offensive to her senses - in fact, it filled her with something akin to warmth at the memory of those two people whenever she passed by someone smoking in the street. A nostalgic smell, from before things became complicated.