SOULS WITH SCARS | Ryan Clarke

4

Blair

Clarke and I texted all night yesterday after I called Alex and asked if his girlfriend could bring me back with a portal, which she kindly said yes to. The more we talk, the more I find myself liking him. I enjoy talking with him, it makes me feel good, but likewise, it scares me a little, I haven't liked anyone for years now. I've learned a little more about him and his family and he has also learned more about me. Yet, I haven't had the chance to tell him my real name. I feel bad for not telling him, but I hope that he will understand when I do tell him.

I look at my phone screen, it's 9 p.m. I haven't heard from him all day and I consider texting him, but I'm also scared that he will think I'm too clingy. My fingers go against my mind and find our chat.

Me: "Hey!"

Clarke - Bar: "Hey"

His reply comes in instantly, quicker than I expected.

Me: "How are you?"

Clarke - Bar: "I'm okay. How about you?"

Me: "I'm okay, I just wanted to check up on you"

Clarke - Bar: "I appreciate that, but are you sure you are okay?"

Me: "Yeah, don't worry about me"

The text bubble disappeared and was replaced with a phone call from him. I accept the call and put my phone up to my ear. "Hello"

"How should I not worry about you?" His voice sounds frankly worried.

"Clarke, I'm okay. I promise."

"I don't know, Cora. I feel like you're lying." he sighs. "I know you might not trust me but... Well, I understand."

I inhale deeply and exhale. "I trust you, Clarke. I just wanted to hear from you, since you've been quiet for a while, and if I'm being completely honest... I've missed you." Why did I even say that? Stupid, Blair, stupid.

"I missed you too, Cora." I could swear on everything that he was smiling while saying that. My stomach was fluttering and I knew instantly what caused it. Butterflies. He did it. He managed to resurrect a feeling I haven't had in years, again. "I'm just not the best at expressing my thoughts and feelings. More like struggling to recognize my feelings sometimes"

We both stay silent for a bit, I clear my throat and say, "Okay I got it."

"So what are you doing?" he asks.

"Nothing much just met up with my pack for the first time." I hadn't known my pack for years, until a few months ago, when my brother showed up at the Mikaelson compound. Klaus told me things he had heard about the pack when he saw the triskelion-shaped birthmark on the base of my neck. When Joseph, my brother showed up, he told me all about them and which role I had in the pack.

"Your pack?"

"Werewolves are in packs, I just happen to be the alpha of mine."

"Oh, I see."

"It's kind of hard to adapt to my new role, especially since I have no idea how to lead or the rules. I was never trained to be one. I mean before I was taken away from the pack, they trained me a little self-defense and all that, but they didn't teach me all the alpha stuff because I was still very young." Talking about this was hard. Clarke was the first person I've talked with about this and it was the first time I felt comfortable talking about this, albeit it's hard for me.

"If you need help with anything, remember I'm here okay?"

"I appreciate it." I smile. I know he meant it. I know he didn't just say it, to make me feel like I'm not alone, but because he sincerely wants to help me if I need it.

We talk for another twenty minutes about how it was for me to be with the pack and then we talked about what he had been doing. The subject of our conversation changes when he mentions that he is baking some banana almond bread. "Thank you for listening to me about the things I've been dealing with, even if I couldn't say much," he says.

"I'm always just a call away."

"Or you could come here. It makes me happy having you around. I don't really enjoy how silent and lonely it is being here, I really enjoyed the last time you were with me."

Butterflies. Fucking butterflies again. And blushing.

I pressed my lips together to hide my smile, not that anyone could see me, but I felt the need to hide it.