Distorted Affection

6

The whole class I'm staring at her from across the room. She's sitting in my seat. If I didn't sit in the sticky seat she would've, I'm glad I sat here. But what if it's not Jewel? What if it's just some random person who looks exactly the same and has the same name? I was planning on talking to her after class but now I'm starting to reconsider.. You know what? Today is about change. It got me to Jewel so it's too late to back out now. If slightly changing my morning made my imaginary soulmate real then I can't imagine what would happen if I continue this for the rest of my life. The bell rings and I'm planning what to say to her. Jewel usually walks with me after class but she's not today, strange. I'm staring at the floor trying to focus when I bump into Lucien.

"Oh uh fuck- shit sorry" I say, immediately getting embarrassed after. I usually don't talk to anyone so of course the one time I actually do I sound like an idiot. "Yeah no don't worry, are you okay?" They say. I've never heard Lucien's voice before, they just sound like a normal person. Don't know why that's surprising. "I'm fine, I'm sorry about bumping into you, I'm a bit stressed" I answer them. You know what? I'm pretty good at having conversations, can you get paid for this? I should get paid for this. "No, no like I said it's fine don't worry, what are you stressed about?" Lucien responds. God they're so nice. Like I know they're so quiet but I assumed they would be at least a little rude, like edgy or something I don't know. "I wanna talk to Jewel but I don't know what to say" I tell them. I don't know why I feel so comfortable telling them things about my life that me personally would consider well.. personal. "Well what do you wanna talk to her about?" They ask me.
"It's too complicated for you to understand, it would take hours to explain, you don't wanna know" I say, I would love to explain but I know it's not exactly.. normal. I didn't want them to think I was crazy. "Tell me, I would love to hear" they say, slightly smiling.