Distorted Affection

7

I look at them, wondering if I should really say it. I sigh, "fine, but don't laugh at me." I tell them with a serious tone. "I won't" they respond, also in a serious tone. "I know Jewel, but not like how you think." I say. They look confused at me. "I made her, in my mind." "what, you're cr-" they start to say before I stop them. "Just listen." I come closer. "I've been by myself my entire life, it was fine at first but eventually I started wishing I had someone. I made this fake person in my mind who i spent every second of my life with. Jewel. I didn't need anyone else when I had her, without her I would probably be dead." I say as tears build up in my eyes. I manage to stop them but one still rolls down. "That's... intense" Lucien responds to my stupid rant. I had completely forgotten they were there and felt so humiliated. "I'm sorry- I kinda forgot you were there" I apologize. "I get that a lot.." they respond. I feel even worse and just blurt out "Well Thanks for listening to me but I really have to talk to Jewel now" I start walking away fast so I won't miss my chance.

When I was trying to find Jewel I thought about my conversation with Lucien. I never thought I would have a conversation with them but I didn't think it would go like this if I did. They didn't lie though. Everyone thought of Lucien as rude and distant. Even though they never said anything, I even thought that about them I won't lie. Thinking about it, what makes people think of Lucien like that? Lucien is quiet and keeps to themselves so it can't be something they said. Lucien wears dark colours all the time and is pretty tall, maybe they think they're scary? Now that I say it out loud it doesn't make sense to dislike them. Really shows how people judge too quickly. Wait- there she is!