the lake | komahina

2

not really. 'sure,' i adjusted the collar on my shirt, 'i'm hajime. uh... yeah.' i finished quickly as intended. 'hi, hajime.' everyone said warmly.

'so, why are you here with us today?' the leader asked. i thought i was done giving information about myself, but apparently not.

'i have anxiety. and depression.' i practically whispered. 'okay. can anyone relate to hajime here?' they gestures towards the crowd.

someone with long, purple hair raised her hand, along with a few other people. 'i have a-anxiety.' 'yes, mikan here has it, as do many of us.'

'since you've never spoke of your experiences here, hajime, would you like to tell us what you think causes your depression and anxiety?'

no. 'my mother.' i simply answered. 'parental figures can impact our lives a lot since they're with us so often. what does she do?' they asked.

i thought back to the many times they'd made me feel like shit.

tw: major h0m0ph0bia

'so how was school today?' my mother asked as i sat across from the woman. 'it was okay.' she looked up from her book.

'have you met anyone you like?' not this question again. i'd told her at least a million times that i didn't want a relationship.

'no.' i simply answered, tired of this. 'do you even...' she paused. 'do you even like girls?' when she finished her question, i froze.

the question i'd hoped she'd never ask. 'uh.. what?' i laughed, playing it off as something funny, but the woman remained serious.

she stared at me, waiting for a better answer. 'sometimes.' i eventually said. 'what does that mean?' it means i'm bisexual. i said in my head.

'every once in a while i like them...' my leg bounced up and down on the chair. she looked down and noticed this.

'why are you nervous? why are you shaking?' shit. she knew. 'i'm-i'm not.' i was clearly lying. my mother knew i was too.

'so what, do you like men or something?' she gazed into my eyes, but i couldn't look back. 'no.' i told her, looking at the ground.

'say that whilst looking at me.' i could practically feel my eyes shaking as tears began to form and i slowly fixed my vision on the woman at the other end of the table.

'i.. don't like..' i couldn't finish. she chuckled. 'jeez. yes you do.' my mother got up out of the chair and walked over where i was seated.

'so you wanna date a boy?' i didn't respond and instead just stared at the floor. tears streamed down my face as i attempted to wipe them off.

'so you do like them.' she peered down at me. 'y-yes...' i finally gave in. it was evident enough now. my mother grabbed my face.

'so you're talentless and a f*ggot, huh?'

i was brought back to reality by a person beside me tapping my leg repeatedly. nagito. 'you okay?' he appeared worried.

i nodded, lying again, and looked up. 'she's just.. rude to me sometimes. that's all.'

about ten minutes went by and the white-haired boy finally spoke. 'i think my dementia is getting worse.' dementia?

'why is that?' a person in the circle asked. 'i'm starting to not remember little details people are telling me.. i'm grateful they're not big details, but.. it's still bad.'

that must've been horrible; i wondered why i was complaining. slowly being unable to recall more and more things...... that sounded terrifying.

'i'm sorry.' i whispered, not even noticing i'd said it until after it came out of my mouth. komaeda said, 'don't worry about it.'

seventy minutes passed and therapy was over. i'd learned about a few people and they'd learned about me; it was an okay experience..

nagito's pov

i walked back home from therapy thinking about the boy i'd just met.. he seemed sweet; hopefully i could be able to help him more in the future.

the way he just stared at his lap when asked about his mother was really concerning. perhaps he would open up in the future, but whatever was going on wasn't good.

i arrived home and saw my father making food. 'hey, what's up?' it looked like he was cooking.. nikujaga. 'eh, nothing.'

'how did the session go?' he questioned. 'it went good.' i attempted to hide the smile forming on my face. it was a fail.

'i know that look,' he grinned back at me. 'what happened?' 'i think i got a new friend.'

my father started putting the beef and potatoes on separate plates as he inquired, 'what's their name?' i helped by putting the plates on the table, 'hajime.'

he nodded. 'what's hajime like?' 'well.. he seems anxious a lot; i have hope that therapy and i can help him though. he's really nice.'

'i'm glad.' my father said, sitting down. we ate our meal together whilst talking about random subjects before i went upstairs to my room.

i plopped down on my bed, sighing. i was always a little more tired compared to a few years ago. grabbing my cinnamoroll plushie, i got covered up with a blanket and slept.

a/n:
random hc that nagito likes cinnamoroll? yea.