Joseph "Cool Youth Minister Dad" Christiansen:
Likes:
Baking with the kidsExtensive knowledge of knot tyingDoing kick-flips
Dislikes:
Lost salt shakersWhen dads don't get alongWhen people think Crocs are acceptable boat shoes Profile
Voted 's #1 Youth Minister for five years running. Living in my hometown with my beautiful wife and our four amazing kids. If I'm not in church you can catch me out on the open water, setting sail on the seas of adventure! I love playing guitar and crushing my kids at Candy Land.
On a Friday Night, you are most likely to...
Lead the community in a fun mixer
If you had one thing to take with you onto a desert island, what would it be?
My six string
What are your turn-ons?
My loving wife
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Ship captain
What's your favorite movie genre?
Feel-good movies
What's your ideal date?
Lovely night on the town with my wife
What do you never leave home without?
The good book
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
How I can be a better man, husband, father
Conversation optionsFirst DateCreepy Twin SchtickEgg them on - LikeWe should get to baking - NeutralGo with something creepy - NeutralGo with something obscure - LikeSpiders!Spoon duel the Spider King - NeutralRenegade Option - NeutralBrowniesOh yeah! - LikeI hope so. - LikeSneak another brownie to ease your fear of public interaction. - DislikeBrownie CreationWe used the box recipe! - Like (gets a Love to react from Mat)We improvised. - LikeIt's just how Nonna used to make it. - DislikeBrian's Brownie BetI bet I could eat eleven brownies. - Dislike (Increases Brian's Affection)Just let the man buy his brownies.- NeutralSelling Brownies to CraigRemember that one time... - LoveYou can't spell "diet" without "die" - DislikeTempt him - NeutralThe Freak-ShowThey're kinda weird - NeutralThey seem nice - NeutralShove a brownie in your mouth so you can't talk - DislikeJoseph's ApologyAre you okay? - NeutralWhat's her deal? - DislikeBrownies fix everything. - LikeSecond DateFixing the BannerJESUS IS CUMIN - LikeJESUS ISN'T CUMING - DislikeJESUS IS CALMING - LoveSpinmaster QuinnThat's not how DJing works. - LoveShut up and play the hits! - LovePlay the booty bumpers. It's what Jesus would've wanted. - LikeSpinmaster Quinn's WifeSusan - DislikeSandra - LoveSandy - DislikeDancing with Joseph
Part One
Start with the Lawnmower - Neutral (Best Option)Roll the Dice - NeutralThe Worm - Neutral (Scares the Children)
Part Two
Shopping Cart - NeutralSprinkler - Neutral (Best Option)Running Man - Neutral
Part Three
Cabbage Patch - Neutral (Best Option)The Windmill - Neutral (Scares the Children)Hammer Slide - Neutral
Part Four
Moonwalk - Neutral (Best Option)Butter Churn - NeutralAttempt Twerking - Neutral (Don't...)
Big Finish
Attempt an Unrehearsed Backflip - Neutral (Joseph will stop you)Lift Joseph Dirty-Dancing Style - DislikeDeath Drop - Neutral (Best Option)Margarita ZoneWatch out for blown out flip flops - LikeLet's get tattoos of Mexican cuties - LikeIt's heaven on earth with an onion slice - DislikeThird DateWrestle NeptuneI didn't bring any talcum powder - NeutralLuckily I brought my Neptuning fork - LikeCan do! - LoveYelling at the OceanYOU'RE ALL SPINELESS, INVERTEBRATES - LikeI HAD LOBSTER LAST WEEK AND CAN'T WAIT TO EAT MORE OF YOU - LoveMY LIFE GOAL IS TO PUNCH AS MANY FISH AS I CAN BEFORE I DIE - NeutralWine?Wine. - NeutralWINE. - LikeWINE!! - LovePour WineRegular Pour - LikePOWER POUR - LoveRevive the VibeThis view though... - Neutral (returns to Revive the Vibe)Do you like your mysteries... hot-bodied? - Love (Skips Name Your Yacht)I bet we'll have a whale of a time - Like (Skips Name Your Yacht)What's it like owning a yacht? - Neutral (leads to Name Your Yacht)Name Your YachtThe Salty Swallow - LoveLong, Hard, and Full of Seamen - LoveFuck You, Whales - Neutral (returns to Revive the Vibe)Date Responses
"Wow, what time is it? That was crazy!"
"Whooo... that's some good grillin'."
"I could just fall into your eyes."
"Yeah, I mean you, you look great... it was fun."
"That was a great date!"
"I have never had that much fun in my life! T-That was awesome!"
Related Achievements
IconNameDescription
Go on every date with every dad.
Go on all Joseph dates.
Find Joseph's secret ending.
TriviaJoseph's name is a play on biblical figures along with the names of his wife and children. He and his wife have the names Mary and Joseph, who are the parents of the Christian savior, Jesus Christ. All their children have names that have the root, Christ-, who is the child of Mary bestowed by God, along with Joseph as his father. It is quite funny since Joseph is a youth minister.Unlike some of the other dads, you still have a relationship with Joseph in his bad end and you get dumped in his good one.He is revealed to be a cult leader in a non-canon and hidden secret ending.He at one point cheated on his wife with .Joseph is one of three dads that you can die on a date with - in his second date, if you select all the worst options for the dancing segment, and then finish with the backflip attempt, you will land on your head and break your neck. The other two dads are and .Joseph is the only character to somewhat be considered the game's "antagonist", however, this is only due to the non-canon cult ending.GalleryArtist: Ego Rodriguez
hide · · Characters
Dads • • • • Joseph • •
Kids • • • • • • • • • • • •
Other • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Animals • •
(908 Words)
